Ye ar a Glaswegian if:  

rm_iwannatellu 45F
849 posts
8/8/2006 12:04 pm

Last Read:
8/11/2006 6:48 am

Ye ar a Glaswegian if:

I have a Glaswegian colleague who speaks with a pronounced accent, but we are still able to understand her perfectly all the time (except when she has had too much to drink), but when she is on the phone to her mates, it is as if she speaks a different language altogether.

She sent me this mail recently, and I thought I would share it as it is very funny if you know any Scottish people

Here's the official list. Ye r a Glaswegian if:

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie , Ecclefechan Milngavie,
Sauchiehall, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Ye get four seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canny pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wear shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16. A big flash car has a ned at the wheel.

17. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

18. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

19. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals

20. Finally, you are 100% Glaswegian if you have ever said/heard these words...
how's it hingin
get it up ye wee beasties
arse bandit
away an bile yer heid
humphey backit
baw bag
dubble nuggit

Lastly, a joke in the vernacular:
Wee Glesca wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his rear end aimed at an electric fire.

The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?"
"Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's Ah'm heatin'."

HandyMan15601 55M

8/8/2006 1:10 pm

Aye, some of this is hard enuff even when yer a Scott.....H

Frugal Thrivalism. Preparedness. Self-Sufficiency.

amoldenough 70F
16436 posts
8/8/2006 1:19 pm


"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened."

rm_Benkai7 55M
2358 posts
8/8/2006 2:03 pm

Dear "iwannatellu".

... may I have my tongue and my throat back, please ... ...


rm_iwannatellu 45F
933 posts
8/9/2006 10:57 am

Thanks fae admittin that...


Of course, but you will have to visit again to get them...

Sure. How do you think I got it? LOL

Sorry to hear you were at funerals, but I'm sure your mates will appreciate this joke.

Thanks for visiting.

Hugs all round.

blueguy1051 60M

8/9/2006 1:02 pm

I didn't think people ate haggis even if they didn't know what was in it.

VTLakesideVixen 60F
458 posts
8/10/2006 2:36 am

This post was so cute! I will admit I had to stop and think AND read slowly, but it made sense in the end! I really enjoyed it.

Like blond367 said--I too could listen to a Scot's man talk all day--gotta love that rolling burr!

And by the way, I really do like Haggis--I partake whenever we attend a Scot's event--it will go down easily with a "drop of the good stuff!"

rm_iwannatellu 45F
933 posts
8/10/2006 11:34 am

I agree - wonderful to listen to, just difficult to decipher through lots of alcohol!

Haggis! Bleeeuch! I still think it must have originated from a lost bet...

I think it would only go down with a drop fo the good stuff...

Thanks all for visiting


tracy_de_lacy 105F
9268 posts
8/11/2006 4:50 am

As a proud gleswegian a feel ahm in ma rights tae knock this fur ma ain blog. If ye huv any problems wie that ye better geeze a shout before a put it up therr

Bye everyone, it was a blast

rm_iwannatellu 45F
933 posts
8/11/2006 6:48 am

Hi Tracy

I huv nae problem wi that at all. It maet be nice if ye wood just mention ye got it from me, but ye don't huv te. I huv a wee bit of Scottish heritage myself, although my Da doesn't say wee beaties at all.

Great pic of yoo, just for the record.

Cheers for askin.


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