Despair  

rm_hotmissygal2 35F
14 posts
6/22/2006 12:20 am
Despair


She is back but not settled. I wan to see her but I can’t, I want to hold her but I am not in a position to… my sixth sense tells me to move on, cry it out and look up to the horizon… should I listen to my inner feelings, my other part of the brain? Or should I just wait and be patient… I chose to Love and face my worst fears… now I despair… I am afraid of loosing and way too afraid of hurting… is this what I am bound to be facing all thro? Did I wrong my ancestors… can some body please tell me how I should take this, quit or hang on??? Loose and hurt??

If only the world could see what I feel
then, would the world, know who I am
I've loved, lost and feared the world
for it is sometimes too much to bare
Control, power, is what I fear
for I am weak inside and full of pain
I shout and cry, but knowing
there is nobody there to hear me
I swallow the shame and anger
that lies beneath me
I am lost to reality and living in time
Though I am struggling through life
and all that it offers, I am only human
and that is what makes me . . . Me.
Still, I wish for the happiness and pleasure
that I have earned, but realize that, I have
not yet overcome the world's greatest challenge
Love! and how to accept it -
I am ready to face my fears

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