Relief  

rm_hotmamaNcols 39F
460 posts
5/19/2006 9:09 am

Last Read:
5/22/2006 6:30 pm

Relief


I'm sitting at a local pub(bar and grill), waiting for my gal pal Stef to show. I wait with my double shot of cuervo and rose's lime. We already know that I am no longer looking, but a fool thought I was.

"Hey, I just wanted to say you are HOT! Can I buy you a drink?"

Now if that was his pick up line, he is sure to be troubled with loneliness for the rest of his life..

"Look, I've had a bad day. No offense but I'm really not in the mood. No thanks."

I turn back around, taking a deep swig of my favorite concoction. I wait for my tactful turn down to work...

"Well, let me buy you one anyway."

Then he proceeds to plant his behind in the seat next to me!!! WTF?? I didn't invite him to sit!!

"Look, I'm waiting on a friend and this is highly inappropriate. Do you mind?"

I scoot my chair away but continue to sit. He was not going to chase me from this table. And with my expressive face, I was sure he would have gotten the hint... If he couldn't see that I was losing patience, he was either a moron or a very persistent bugger.

"Well, I don't see anyone here with you right now..."

Then he starts to chat with me like we are buddies!! At this point, I'm not even looking at the man. He just keeps rambling and rambling. In my mind I envisioned a mosquito circling some poor human to bite and suck the life out of. ARGHHH!! How do I use civility and tact in this particular case? When obviously this man shuts down the neurons to his auditory nerve and his receptors when I am telling him NO?

"What's your name again? Ok, whatever. Look I didn't want to be rude but you've forced it. I told you I was not in the mood, I turned down your drink, and you're still talking to me. I'm not interested. No thanks. Move along."

Deep breath. Don't get yourself kicked out. Stay calm.

"Oh come on, baby. I was just trying to be friendly.."

he scoots closer and continues to sit.

OMFG!! WTF!! Thank god I didn't have a sharp object, I would have impaled him thru the heart and waited for him to turn to dust like the mood vampire he was!!

He shifts his vision from me, to someone behind me. Oh, she's here. I've been SAVED!!! Phew!!
And in the a surprising baritone voice I heard:

"Goodbye."

Dude starts scrambling up, erratically apologizing. It wasn't Stef, it was Jimmy. All I could do was laugh as I greeted him. His two words, to my three dozen. Not fair! Of course, I'm not intimidating, well not in the aspect of a physical threat. It certainly pays to have male friends.

thewizardofORGS 44M

5/19/2006 9:56 am

FasterPussycat...cool group...oh by the way.."I got your number off the bathroom wall. Figured it was about itme I made the call."


rm_hotmamaNcols replies on 5/19/2006 7:11 pm:
You answered the phone in a sexy voice, I got excited and I had no choice.... {=}

SleekIcilyVarix 41M

5/19/2006 10:12 am

Male friends are great for Dicksmack Removal, but the next time you're early or waiting for someone..

How To Prevent a Prolonged Mood Vampire Attack
1. give the bartender a bit of an extra nice tip when you get your first drink and ask him/her to keep an eye out for ya. Most will.

2. just grab your cell phone, call any friend, and pretend it's your bf. "Some asshole just sat at my table and won't go away. I TOLD him I'm NOT interested. Can you come by and tear his arms off? You'll be here in a few? GREAT! Thanks. Bye."

3. if you tell him to move on and he stays, spill his drink on him. Make it appear as deliberate as possible. Don't fake clumsiness.


rm_hotmamaNcols replies on 5/19/2006 7:03 pm:
#1, I've done that before, #2 I've never attempted, #3 I don't want to get slapped!!! LOL!!!

im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
5/19/2006 10:28 am

I have to say I like rude arrogant ignorant bastards they do a good job making me look good lol.


rm_hotmamaNcols replies on 5/19/2006 7:04 pm:
Yes, you do.

jd29992z 54M
3888 posts
5/19/2006 5:23 pm

That was too funny I guess that "NO leave me the F alone" actually means sit here and bother me. Hmmmmm some people. Good thing you did not have that sharp object!!!! Well at least Jimmy was there see you JD.


rm_hotmamaNcols replies on 5/19/2006 7:07 pm:
I'm a creature of habit. It was no surprise I would be there. Long day = me at the pub. I will stop by when I can. Thanks.

elbman 41M  
2566 posts
5/19/2006 11:20 pm

I've got a personal favorite I've given to my female friends; it has to be said in a voice to be heard by many others:

"First you couldn't get it up last time, Secondly it's not as if it would have been enough to satisfy me, Third your mom walking in was a total mood killer.....and now you have the gaul to even approach me again? Does your wife and kid know where you are right now?"


rm_hotmamaNcols replies on 5/20/2006 10:42 am:
LMAO!! I gotta try that one!!!

3d60 47M

5/20/2006 3:12 am

Being the sweetest honey your bound to attract the workers/ flies and any other nectar hungry pest....i'm sorry and wish that men would act with decourum and tactfullness...tooo tired to natter more must sleep now sorry I havn't commentated for soooo long been right busy y'all juv me XX


rm_hotmamaNcols replies on 5/20/2006 10:44 am:
Hey, I've missed you!! How was the play?

Become a member to create a blog