to dance along the boundary  

rm_gwalker_oh 55M
47 posts
7/8/2006 8:29 am

Last Read:
5/18/2007 7:59 pm

to dance along the boundary

to quote Dr. Higgins, "Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn!"

It's one of my favorites scenes from one of my favorite movies (though I have many "favorites" ), "My Fair Lady".

You know the scene. The contented, egotistical bachelor Dr. Higgins has finally, stubbornly, begun to admit that he likes Eliza, and so has just gotten his first taste of the consequences of his prolonged shitty treatment of her.

Not that I've been treating anyone shittily lately, at least that I know of. I haven't lied to anyone, I haven't mislead anyone, and I haven't been "clever" with anyone. Why then do I feel like I'm trying to Play the Universe!?! Pretty fuckin' bold, huh?

I dunno. The newly lame profile says it, in Bono's words, "still haven't found ..." and all that rot. Even that sounds cliche' to me now.

Yeah. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit about hooking up, or not hooking up -- what*ever*! I don't give a shit about whether I'm saying the right thing, or thinking the right thing, or whether I've got the right fuckin' diplomatic balance (my need to do this is one my great character weaknesses). Godammit if I see beauty I'm gonna respond. I claim the right to chase those bright shards of light! If you think I'm a player, well, that's your lens on the world I guess. If you want to judge me, be ready for me to get in your face too. And if you stereotype me I'm gonna sneer at your pathetically small mind and move on.

Trying to play the universe? I don't think so. Though last night I mentioned somewhere about self-deception! But no, just dancing along the vague boundary of what's real and what's not, here in what used to be called "cyberspace" (I've always disliked that term, I don't know why).

Many people's blogs I've read where they express amazement as they begin to discover the richness of the medium. Men and women. Now, I'm a veteran of the early days of "chat" (IRC, in particular), before it was overrun with brainless horny losers and porno-ad 'bots disguised as women. Back in the early-mid 90's, when it was real. Or was it real? Again, that vague boundary, and the richness, the uniqueness, of experiencing it. One of my old friends (yeah, a hook-up too) actually published a book on the matter, a sort of laywoman's sociological analysis, at a time when such a book was newly relevant.

So I know somewhat of all that. Ha! and now I join the ranks of bloggers who discover all that in this medium. And it's so much richer than chats and message boards. It's more dynamic, more multifaceted, like a higher-dimensional version of those old prototypes.

But I play with fire. The realness of the real is more real, I suspect. Even in "those old prototypes", the stakes turned out to be higher than we thought.

Yeah, I got the message. I've never been able to resist the temptation of fire, but I have learned from being burned and from burning others. I can be trusted. I'm damn-well gonna keep on, I'm afraid, but yeah, I get the message. Self: Go ahead, dance along the boundary, for sure! But don't be found attempting to play the universe. Finally, find some limit for your profound arrogance.


angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
7/8/2006 1:13 pm

One of my favorite movies too! Are you saying that you are profoundly arrogant? Sort of like Dr Higgins, wouldn't you say? lol Great post!

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
7/8/2006 5:15 pm

Blogging is definately different from the chat rooms. Including the early ones of a decade ago. I enjoy getting creative with it.

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