Why am I here?  

rm_gsj0788 52M
5 posts
12/6/2005 2:05 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why am I here?

When I first joined the site I thought I knew just what I wanted. I wanted someone to replace the passion that has gone out of my sex life at home. I wanted to try things I never did when I was young because I fell in love early and never tested the waters.

Now after interacting with several others by commenting on postings I'm not so sure. Not so sure I shouldn't just turn this damn thing off and forget this ever happened. Not so sure if I ever really wanted any of those things or if I just wanted to get back at my wife for forgetting a very important part of our relationship.

Then tonight annother blow to my ego. We actually had great sex last night and I was happy. Then tonight I asked her to come close and cuddle with me while we watched some TV and this was my only response. "Boy give the man a little sex and see what happens".

I love her, she is my best friend. She used to be my lover as well. Lately I feel like the lover has gone and only the friend remains. Wish I could find the magic potion that would bring the lover back to me.

I don't know if maybe I am making to much of this, or to little. I know she loves me, she must to have stayed with me through 21 years in the Navy. I know I love her! But I so long for the passion we had years ago!

Why am I here?

danceswithtrees 57M
2343 posts
12/6/2005 7:25 am

well maybe you're here looking for comments?? and please remember that free advice is sometimes worth what you paid for it..

fact of life..life changes in your 40's..are you up for it?? your body changes and so does hers..and your outlook on life changes.

you're asking questions..good..very good..just be cool,stay mellow and the answers will come..you didn't think i had the answers,did ya?? lol..

so the free advice..tell her that you miss the couple that you once were..and do be careful how you say it,my friend..and listen and accept the answers you receive..

"but i so long for the passion we had years ago!" have you stopped romancing her?..once in awhile treat her as a woman and not your wife..know what i mean??..ask her on a date..tell her she's a beautiful woman..and tell her that everday and not just during foreplay..all good changes start with yourself-it's a total waste of time trying to change others..

be cool,stay warm,enjoy the ride...

rm_gsj0788 52M

12/6/2005 9:59 am


Thanks for the advice. I do think you are right that I have cooled a bit on the romancing. When trouble first started, I bought her pretty nightires, perfumes, bath accessories, you name it. Most have gone unused. We don't go out as often as I would like in large part do to her attatchement to our son. (That is getting better after 11 years). I would like to convence her to go away with me for a weekend somewhere and see if that will spark things up a bit. It is hard to keep up the romancing when you keep getting shot down at every turn. Takes its toll over the years.

Thanks, Greg

falcon7789 68M

1/13/2006 9:14 am

Greg, I feel for you...I too am trying to get my wife back on track like it was in the beginning. I am on my 3rd marriage, and have been married for only 3 years this time. We are seeing a counseler, but so far not any improvement. He just ask history questions, then suggest books to read. Hell, when do I have time to read? It just seems like the days go by faster, I just get older, not much wiser, and feel that I am wasting my time trying anymore. In the past few weeks I have just stayed out of her way most of the time. I have plenty to do around the house and farm. All she ever wants to talk about it her work and all the problems. It does wear you down after a while. I do hope your situation gets better....Not sure mine will anytime soon.

Good Luck


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