Boy, does my timing suck!!!!!!  

rm_gsj0788 52M
5 posts
12/11/2005 1:29 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Boy, does my timing suck!!!!!!

Taking the advice of so many of you to my last post (Friends for 21 years, Lovers no more) I started trying to do the little romantic things in hopes of improving my marriage. I’m trying to just sit and cuddle, I send love notes every day or two to her e-mail. I even cook and clean which we have always shared when she works. The trouble is, she got sick about the time I started all this and she has been a real bitch about it. Everytime I ask to just cuddle she thinks I want sex right then and there and accuses me of such. The day after we had sex last, I asked her to sit next to me and cuddle and got this in reply; “Boy, give the man a little sex and he just wants more”; delivered in a not so nice tone. It hurts that she wont even just spend some quality time in my arms. Every touch I ask for is met with resistance. And with every quip, every jab at “me only being interested in sex”, every denile of affection it gets harder for me to continue to try.

Don’t get me wrong, this is about the sex, but not the quantity, the quality. We have gone through many periods in the past where the quantity was not there, but the quality always made up for it. No however, the quality has hit rock bottom. I can’t remember the last time we had sex where she did more than just lay below me and let me do all the work. Most of the time she grunts as though in pain, and still other times she will start talking to me about her day (and wonders why I go soft!). It has been like this for nearly 2 years now, and just keeps getting worse. I thought when I was done with the Navy and our lives could finally be normal she would truly be happy and things would improve. But, somehow I think it made things worse. I think because there is no danger of me packing my seabag and disappearing for 3 month, she says “there is always tomorrow”. But tomorrow never comes. When I try to express my feelings and wants and needs, she always turns it around on me and makes me the bad guy.

So now, I feel alone even in the same room with the one person whom I always thought made me complete. For the first time in our 25 years together I wonder if we will survive! And yes, sometime all I do need is just to be hugged and told I Love You!

Thanks for listening,


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