You Know You're From Atlanta When...  

rm_gerson42 52M
1752 posts
5/2/2006 12:24 am

Last Read:
5/4/2006 2:00 pm

You Know You're From Atlanta When...

Due to the fact that my current allotment of thinking on serious topics is almost completely depleted, I must pause to rest. In the interim, please feel free to peruse this fun-filled list of important factoids regarding Atlanta.

You give directions starting with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House."

You only know the way to work and the way home.

You only drink Coke or Diet Coke - drinking Pepsi is blasphemy.

You know to wear sneakers to the airport.

The 8 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5 PM rush hour is from 3 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2 AM Saturday.

You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.

You can say Ponce De Leon Avenue correctly.

The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules.

If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.

If there is a remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling "I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will close at the slightest possible chance of snow.

If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to get on and go somewhere.

Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of Old Faithful erupts.

Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.

You never go 55 on "The Watermelon 500 or the Georgia 400.

You know you're not allergic to pollen, because if you were - you'd be dead already.

You've never gone around the block and ended up on the street you started on.

You know where 'Butthead' and 'F*ckhead' are, and it's the same part of town.

You haven't been downtown at night in years

You've woken up at 4:30 am on workdays to beat the traffic to work, intending to leave work before 3 pm to compensate.

You know at least five different ways to get to work, none of them ideal.

You know what "sunshine slowdown", "auto-flambe'", "topside" mean, and what color a H.E.R.O. is.

You know where PIB, JCB, FIB, MLK, PDK and "Grady curve" are, and you try to never go there during any of the nine hours of rush "hour".

You've thought about getting a blow-up companion for the front passenger seat.

You hope you are the one to spot the vehicle that is the subject of the latest "Amber Alert" which has been flashing for ten minutes on the DOT message board exactly 13.5 feet above the hood of your SUV.

You've been in traffic on 85, 75, 20 or 400 (choose one) - wondering if your fuel, your cell-phone battery and your bladder will make it to the next exit, just 1/2 mile ahead.

It's 4:30 pm Sunday, you're stone-cold sober and you've just finished the last left-over hot dog when you realize that in exactly 12 hours you have to get up and go to work - again.

absolutelynormal 56F
6563 posts
5/2/2006 6:52 am

I don't think I could stand to live there. I hate traffic. My drive to work lasts about 8 minutes. I'm going the opposite way the traffic goes in the morning and in the evening. My daughter lives in Savannah so I know about Atlanta traffic. You wanna see real traffic, go to the San Francisco Bay area. Lived out thre shortly, WTF was I thinking? Nice post, Mac

rm_gerson42 replies on 5/2/2006 11:02 am:
I know what you mean. I now work from home or wherever I am. Previously, the commute to my office was 5 minutes or less. When I went in early, I could count the cars I passes on both hands.

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
5/2/2006 7:09 am

Where do you find this stuff? It's fun, like the one you did with Mississipi. I find some similarities to a few things even here in Seattle, namely traffic and snow (yes, it snows in the mountains but it is a major thing when it hits the lowlands).
Do you have something on Boston? Although I don't live there anymore, my roots are still there.
Thanks for the fun.

rm_gerson42 replies on 5/2/2006 11:04 am:
A blogger never reveals their secrets! Oh, Seattle traffic. I grew up in Edmonds along the I-5 corridor. Left over 20 years ago. I thought it was bad then. Boston, lets see.

Seriously_Real 48M

5/2/2006 12:00 pm

You're just TAUNTING me, aren't you?

I'll tell you truly, the comments about the snowflake and the friday "rush hour" are dead on accurate. I live ITP (inside the perimeter) so my commute is a manageable one to work and back. But I still know 5 routes and on Friday none of them are ideal.

And I have to make one correction -- down here, we don't wear "sneakers" to the airport. They're tennis shoes, regardless of the functionality of their design. That slip-up alone told me some Sherman-loving Yankee bastid wrote this....

(FYI -- There is a considerable school of thought that Atlanta would not be what it is today if not for Sherman. I tend to agree with that, but I have to pretend I give a rats ass.)


rm_gerson42 replies on 5/2/2006 12:12 pm:
Isn't it just possible, that the Atlanta post was not about taunting you?
I randomly chose that particular state because, because, well just because.

southrnpeach333 50F

5/2/2006 12:17 pm

Hey now, we can talk about our kin and our neck of the woods all day long. Dog them out even (that means to really talk bad about them) but them there just might be fighting words!!!!

I am fixing to have to get me a glass of sweet tea and simmer down.

rm_gerson42 replies on 5/2/2006 12:25 pm:
Oops! I thought you and caress were on a hike and would be gone longer.
Merde, I forgot about that timezone thing.

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
5/2/2006 1:21 pm

Georgia certainly an interesting place!!

rm_gerson42 replies on 5/2/2006 11:15 pm:
Ok, this response is just open for a jab.
But dammit, I'm to scurred to do it.

JustaSeeker 105F

5/2/2006 3:43 pm

Oh, y'all, he's just playin'. And it is funny as hell.

rm_gerson42 replies on 5/2/2006 11:15 pm:
I never would have known they were all true, except the shoe thing, unless Seriously confirmed it.


5/2/2006 7:46 pm

Y'all scurring me!

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

rm_gerson42 replies on 5/2/2006 11:16 pm:
Careful, or Ill do a Missouri one.

caressmewell 53F

5/3/2006 5:55 pm

This is so funny...and so true! And yes I'm a day late...sorry.

rm_gerson42 replies on 5/3/2006 7:54 pm:
Better a day late than not at all.

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