Friends... with benefits  

rm_gerson42 52M
1752 posts
6/8/2006 4:06 am

Last Read:
6/10/2006 10:51 pm

Friends... with benefits

So... I just placed my 50th post on this, my blog. Somehow, that is significant. Not that it is my 50th post but saying the words "My Blog". Why would I, a 41 year accomplished male have a blog on "The ]World's Largest Sex & Swinger Personals Community"? I mean, is there something really, really wrong with me. I cast my vote for no.

BTW, this post is written very soon after my 50th, 50th Post Is Finally Here. Do not, I repeat... do not skip over my 50th post. I am here for validation of my thoughts and feelings, and dammit, you are all required to respond to each and every post.

Why am I here? Ask me 45 days ago... yep, that's all... and I would have told you the same answer that I imagine everyone here would use. "I am lonely", "I want to get laid", "I want to find someone who gets me"..... or.... "I do not really know what I want, but I need something and why not try this?"

What really happened? Blogging opened up a world of intimate connections that have become rewarding. Fuck the ego gratification of seeing my thoughts in print and having people respond to them. By trade, I am a salesman and I know how to get attention.

My feelings are that these blog friendships have developed as a result of the writing of deeply personal feelings and events by myself and those who I read. Touching one another via the possibilites of having lived similiar experiences. Even without revealing our innermost secrets, we come to know and be drawn to one another through reading of our shared interests. Becoming friends.

Do these friendships, I wonder, have the strength and "stickiness" of in-person friendships? I now think that I have been blogging long enough to be certain my answer. A resounding yes! My belief is that my online interactions exceed some of those "real life" relationships.

Just recently, I had occurences in my life take place that were for me, life shapening and altering in nature. My solace came from those who I have met here. In person, chatting online and phone calls. All of which came freely and without judgement. Only caring. Thank you, from my heart, to those who were there for a stranger.

gerson42 - but My friends can call me ger

rm_bucfannn 61M/60F
2110 posts
6/8/2006 7:49 am

Ger, my feelings are the same. I, too, have made lasting friendships here on the blogs. Most, I will never meet, but, in one small way or another, each has touched my life in a significant way.

I am truly grateful...


rm_gerson42 replies on 6/8/2006 5:39 pm:
I think we all... instinctively know who our friends are. Thanks friend.

rm_AnOddGirl 57F
3469 posts
6/8/2006 8:01 am

Win their minds, the heart follows.
I too get more from blogging than I thought I ever would.

Blog on with your bad self!


rm_gerson42 replies on 6/8/2006 5:41 pm:
More than 5 words from OddGirl. A victory in itself! Thank you for your words as many as you give.

catseyes23 61F

6/8/2006 8:57 am

I have called you Ger on your post to me. I hope that you will consider me as a friend.


rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:33 am:
Absolutely... 100%. Thanks for being you and being there.

bipolybabe 54F

6/8/2006 10:01 am

As Blanche said in "A Streetcar Named Desire," "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."

Of course, they were leading her off to the loony bin.

Likewise, Dame Edna Everage said,

"My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia."

So, you know where you're headed



Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:33 am:
You're killing me here.

HBowt2 58F

6/8/2006 11:30 am

Do these friendships, I wonder, have the strength and "stickiness" of in-person friendships?

They bloody better do......HB2xx

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:34 am:
We have had our conversations. Meant something to me. I there for you and you there for me. Works well that way.

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
6/8/2006 11:42 am

What a fabulous post. I am commenting before I read your 50th Post. I am exactly where you are...I have many real life friendships, but the friendships and connections I have made here are sometimes even better than the real life ones...I'm sure you know what I mean.
We have much in common glad you're in Blogville. You have gotten noticed very quickly in the short time you've been here, which shows what kind of a person you are.
I always think to myself, who would have known such a thing existed on this nasty site, lol. But it is truly amazing!! I feel really lucky to have found it, and so many people I truly like and care about.

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:37 am:
I absolutely don't want to diminish what you are saying. Yet my feelings are... that there are many people out there who are like you and me. I am glad to be here and happy that you are there. BTW, on your next pic... can we get a slightly wider angle? lol


6/8/2006 12:07 pm

    Quoting bipolybabe:
    As Blanche said in "A Streetcar Named Desire," "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers."

    Of course, they were leading her off to the loony bin.

    Likewise, Dame Edna Everage said,

    "My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia."

    So, you know where you're headed

<---escapee but don't tell

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:37 am:
cool, how'd you do the arrow. Nevermind, figured it out. Your the best!

NSAAddict 42F

6/8/2006 1:20 pm

Beautifully written post Gerson, I echo your sentiments, I've made some wonderful friends through blogging and never in a million years did I think that would happen on this site. Looking forward to basement diving your blog for other golden nuggets

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:40 am:
Pretty wild that we have so many who feel the same about this. We can't all be wrong.
OK, gave you 12 hours to basement dive. Gonna go check now.

Seriously_Real 48M

6/8/2006 1:52 pm

It's a beautiful day in Blogville, my friend. I'm happy to call you one of mine....(and even happier that, as of this comment, you and I have 98% overlap of readers on the "other people like" list...that pleases me alot).

--Seriously (been here, seen that, and knows what's real)

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:42 am:
You and me baby. Me naked by the computer and you in that funky... what do you call that again? Thanks for being around.

PurplePeach72 44F  
9199 posts
6/8/2006 4:00 pm

Great post! My sentiments are the same, the friendships here are real, and wonderful. I hope to be one of those friends one day. Keep up the good work, take care. We love you here in Blogville!


rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:45 am:
Thanks LeeAnn. Thought we got the friend thing out of the way. Just in case, you are my friend. Today... not someday. Work, ha! This is my hobby (well, one of them)

Lioness_girl 45F
3494 posts
6/8/2006 5:29 pm

Like you, I didn't think that I would actually develop friendships with people that I have never met. It is a great feeling to know that there are people on here that are real and they care.

Great posting and yes, I must admit that I didn't read your 50th yet, but I will do that now


Come have fun! Visit my blog at Lioness_girl

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:46 am:
It is freakin weird. Tell me when I started bloggin I would write that. Damn.

FeistySyn 51F

6/8/2006 6:53 pm

People make friends on here... and no one told me? Hmmmm... maybe I need to re-open my own blog and vent a bit ... or post a naughtier pic ....

Apparently the depth of depravity here is bottomless... don't you feel right at home?

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:48 am:
Oh, stop it! Just in case, I'm tellin you now. Hmmm... choice for me is vent or naughtier pic... thinking...

imLadyBambi 58M/50F

6/8/2006 7:33 pm


No,I don't think theres really,really anything wrong with you.You seem quiet normal.LOL

Lady Bambi


I would like to invite you to our (Team Bambi's)blog site @ imLadyBambi.

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:49 am:
I thought I had you on my watched list. Better go check. Been a few days. Gooooooo Team Bambi!

OboesHonedIambs 62F

6/8/2006 7:59 pm

These are real life friendships. We may take longer to meet in person and sometimes won't meet due to distance or circumstance, but we're still friends with real people and most people have generouos hearts and open hands and really do WANT to be there for ya.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:50 am:
That's the whole thing in a nutshell. Sounds like your one of them. lol

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
6/8/2006 8:54 pm

I couldn't agree more with this post ger...I've made great friends from all around the globe here...and few local ones too.


rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:51 am:
Yeah, seen your blog. People in Canada call that meeting huh? lol

southrnpeach333 50F

6/8/2006 9:59 pm

I am real are you real? I have met some wonderful people here not about to give them up.

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:54 am:
More real than I've ever been before. I sometimes only wish that I lived in a larger geographical area such as yours. It is always so nice to read about you and your friends time spent together.


6/8/2006 10:51 pm

great post.. and have met many friends.. true friends in blogville..and adore the ones that challenge my post..make me re read it and say.. aha.
That you did and will always welcome it.
Thank you and glad your here.

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 12:56 am:
Weird, isn't it? Do the same all the time. Start out thinkin one way and sometimes shift a little throught the process. Part of the beauty for me.

Phuc_Buddy 46M

6/9/2006 2:21 am

Congrat Ger on the 50th post and the validation of it in this post. It appears that you and I start about the same time and I have to agree with you on the "why" of blogging, the reasons for first coming to this site, and the whole idea of friendships we discover here.

Thanks for being a part of blogville with the rest of us!

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 6:34 pm:
Never would have expected this. I actually came on the site a couple years ago... few days... nothing. Not even sure I care about getting laid off this...... ok, scratch that. You know what I mean.

ButteryDelight 58F

6/9/2006 8:39 am

I've just recently entered Blogville. But, I have to say..I like it! I like it! . I too have met some wonderful people here and am grateful for their comments and posts to my own blog.

Keep up the good work. I enjoy reading your blog very much.

Buttery Delight

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 6:35 pm:
as I enjoy you being here. Funny how it works sometimes.

sexyariesgirl 57F

6/9/2006 6:13 pm

I so totally agree with all the comments here! If you've read my blog you know how I feel about Blogland/Blogville. There are some of the most real people in the world right here....whether we ever meet in person or not. The support and sharing is incredible...I'm so glad to be here! And I really enjoy reading your blog.

Power To FOK

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/9/2006 6:36 pm:
I love it. We all agree. Not one person has replied that something here has worked for them while they have been here. That's pretty good frickin results if you ask me.

ProtonicMan 47M

6/9/2006 6:51 pm

Blogland reminds me of that short-lived TV show from the late 1970s or early 1980s: "Real People." It takes all kinds. You can learn something or feel something from the most "unlikely" people.

Some of us are more open on our blogs, others are more superficial, but the relationships that form between people are real. I have made a few really wonderful friends here. Will we ever meet in the flesh? In most cases probably not. Do I have real feelings and interactions with these people? Hell, yeah!


rm_gerson42 replies on 6/10/2006 12:10 pm:
I think I sway dramatically from the open to the superficial. lol Perhaps I'll find a middle ground sometime.

8321 posts
6/9/2006 7:21 pm


While I can appreciate your sentiments, I can't agree.

Relationship for me reside outside the blogs, in real life, and thus those who I have met I tend to take more seriously.

I'm not discounting that one can have some type of relationship with people based solely on a blog, but to me, it's a matter of substance.

You will only see a person from all angles if you've met them in person.

Here, all you have are their words, which to me is not enough to make any type of judgment of who they are, their nature and so forth.

Many people here IM and such behind the scenes and you can be sure that the things they reveal therein are not what they show the public world on their blogs.

I think it's more honest to reveal who you are on your blog, for better or worse than to live behind some facade.

I think it's only natural and realistic to keep a steady distance with people you know strictly via the internet.

I think some people have lost touch, there is a boundary, regardless of whether you choose to realize it or not.

If people were actually what they portrayed themselves to be, it would be safe to bypass the imaginary boundary between reality and virtual reality, but we don't live in a perfect world, do we?

Don't be that guy, gerson.

Stay grounded.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

rm_gerson42 replies on 6/10/2006 12:12 pm:
Hey DIV, as always appreciate your insightful comments. Please just allow me to add that my life is far more diverse and complicated than I will ever place on here. Essentially, Ive been places and accomplished things where others have not. Therein partially was a problem for me. I had nowhere to go for my own help and put the walls up for the emotions and feelings. This is my outlet for those items.

PurplePeach72 44F  
9199 posts
6/10/2006 3:00 pm

ger, I am usually looking over LeeAnns shoulder. But sometimes I post my own and respond to some here and there. I understand what you mean. We often find that we have boxed ourselves in. My profession demands words, lots of them. Shaped and colored so as to reach deep and convince you of my position even though you have never meet me, and will probable never see again after our brief encounter. So where do I turn. I write in my journals and in long deep emails to LeeAnn. I believe that DIV has nothing to worry about, the fact that you come, see, post and think, means you are and will stay grounded. This is a unique place, full of very real and special people.
Love reading your work.



rm_gerson42 replies on 6/10/2006 10:54 pm:
Hey Steve, glad you commented. Div is Div. I know people. That is my livelyhood. I appreciated his cut to this chase comments and still can use what I feel fits. No need to explain to you as your comment fairly represents that. Love having you around.

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