Better to give than receive?  

rm_gerson42 52M
1752 posts
4/24/2006 11:35 pm

Last Read:
7/31/2006 8:41 pm

Better to give than receive?

Is it better to give than to receive?

I think, given the fact that we all have our independently manufactured needs, we find ourselves placed in roles via life circumstances, partners and our own personal perceptions on how those needs are expressed, supressed or achieved.

Why is it so difficult and why does it get all screwed up?

Some say that it is better to give than to receive and I'll buy part of that. But dammit, it can feel really good to receive. Problem is that very few relationships are equal, more often than not, someone is getting more than there share.

So in a give and take relationship, isn't it healthy and necessary to take turns? Not so simple? What complicates things? Perhaps, if one can be completely accepting of the days/hours/moments role, the giver or the receiver, than pleasure can be derived either way.

TabithaElectra79 37F

4/25/2006 5:18 am

I think it is all about a fair balance between the giving and receiving, relationships are individual to those involved within it, so the balance is different for each couple, as is human nature for us all to differ...

*Hoping that makes some kind of sense*

rm_gerson42 replies on 4/25/2006 8:52 am:
You are my first! Blog commenter that is. And from the UK.

caressmewell 53F

4/25/2006 10:42 am

I'm beginning to believe that there are givers and takers and that is what complicates things so much. But hey, what do I know?

rm_gerson42 replies on 4/26/2006 11:40 am:
Me think we are on the same page.


4/27/2006 5:41 pm

I am a giver but I am looking for the same! {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

rm_gerson42 replies on 4/27/2006 7:28 pm:
I think 2 givers make a right!
Sent you a email MOfun. Hurry, check your inbox.

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
4/27/2006 5:45 pm

I really like this post. I am definitely a giver...and am now getting comfortable with receiving...part of a whole bunch of psychological crap related to my marriage.
I agree, I think you have to look at the moments available, etc. and what each partner wants. I also look at it that if you are with someone you really care about, you can get as much pleasure by giving (well, except the orgasm), as receiving. It's something you WANT to do for your partner or want them to do for you. Once it gets to keeping score, there's a problem.

rm_gerson42 replies on 4/27/2006 7:31 pm:
Thanks RealThing - Sometimes that psychological crap goes even furthur back. At least thats what my therapist says.

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11238 posts
4/28/2006 1:10 am

~nodz~ giving and taking can be very complex

a belated welcome to the blogz too

rm_gerson42 replies on 4/28/2006 9:04 am:
Yep, especially when the brain gets in the way.
Good to be here.

GB_Cple 66M/55F  
3037 posts
4/30/2006 12:03 am

"Give and yea shall receive"

rm_gerson42 52M
2419 posts
4/30/2006 8:46 am

Yes. I think you get the final word on this. Break it down GB Cple. Thanks.
Love the shirt!

NSAAddict 42F

6/9/2006 11:19 pm

Love this post Gerson! I'm a natural born giver, not just in bed but in life in general and while I definitely agree a balance is needed in a relationship, I think giving is the more pleasurable of the two. It's selfless and feels so good deep down to give without any motive other than providing someone else with pleasure. Pleasure from having received is great yes, but it's fleeting. The warm fuzzies you get from giving... be it from doing a good deed, giving to charity or giving the best damn blowjob you can give... they last a much longer time and are so much more rewarding

rm_gerson42 52M
2419 posts
6/10/2006 12:52 pm

Wow, I am truly honored that you went all the way back to this post. The only thing I can add at this point in my life, is I was always a giver... and at times probably resented that. Everyone wanted a piece of me. I have found that it's ok to take also as long as it is symbiotic.

PurplePeach72 44F  
9199 posts
6/10/2006 4:01 pm

I never really understood the balance most of my life. I had grown to resent not so much that I was a giver, and others were receivers, but that so many were takers. If I freely give it is wonderful and satisfying. But after years of taking it had worn on my soul. I have found someone who is a receiver and I am ok with her taking. To my delight she is learning the joys of giving too. Life is good whether you are a giver or receiver when you find balance.



rm_gerson42 52M
2419 posts
6/10/2006 11:21 pm

Well said. That has been the same as the recent realizations of mine. Being a consistant give wore on me over time and took it's toll.

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