|Blogs > rm_gaygameboy > gaygameboy's just want to chat|
Alright heres alittle more about me, since i don't really have any sex story to tell anyone.
I am 5'6 tall, kind of skinny, although i do have a belly now so not as skinny as i was in high school (kind of sucks, miss being young).
I'm a virgo, yeah i know caring, loving, always a good friend (seems to be all i can ever be, nothing more). And under the chinees year of the snake.
I have blue eye's, sometimes a little green. Black to brown hair, depending on my mood.
I love to play video games, and like to someday write my own game. (Still looking for some people to help with that someday). I moved around alot when i was a kid. My parents never liked to live in the same place, or we where just too poor to live in the same place too often. Never really had too many friends when i grew up, the ones i did have, well i only seen them at school and mostly hung around them at rescess.
I have a brother, who was kind of a pain in the ass to be around, but he's a great guy. Parents are devorced (90% of the U.S. parents or so i've heard).
And if you've been following my last few blogs, didn't finish high school. For some good reasons or so i would like to say they were.
reasons in case you where woundering are:
1. My dad was kind of a jerk and pushy (always wanted me to move out. probably figured i would be gay)
2. I couldn't live with my mother, and live in this town for much longer (funny i moved back. note to self: must get head examined by shrink)
3. I was offered a full time job at my first job ever. Which ment i would get full time hours, full time benefits (yeah like i used them at all), and i would have more money to afford a place of my own ( to keep my wining dad happy)
I've been gay most of my life. And kind of shy, although i beleive it was because i didn't want anyone to know i was gay.
I didn't get a boyfriend till i was around 21, and he only lasted about 2 to 3 months (personaly didn't really want him as a boyfriend, he was just pushy and wanted me to be his boyfriend.) He quit speaking to me after awhile, probably the whole long distant relationship.
Second boyfriend came around the end of the same year as my first. Not really going into much detail other then i realize now that it was a big mistake tring to have a relationship with him.
I did like to stop at the rest areas on my way home from work. Driving an hour down the highway at night every night, you kind of need a break and some release. Met some really nice people there. Including one of the guys i had put a pic of in my profile.
I lost my first job, do to the fact that i had an unpaid speeding ticket from the begining of the year. Was put in jail for a couple days. And found out a couple days before chirstmas that i was fired do to breach in contract. (Judge was more then happy to grant me my unemployment, do to the new laws that where in effect 3 years before i was fired.
And finally got my secound job at this crappy gas station, where i work with 6 ladies, (trying to be nice) Of course after a couple of months things did change, my boss fired a girl for drug abuse.
After hiring a couple of people to fill in the spot, i was granted the power to close the store up at the end of the day (some power huh). after awhile my boss would lose someone and have to hire someone new. so since i've been there she's hired 2 guys, who both went to college after awhile. (good for them, i'm going to keep trying maybe i will make it there someday.) and she's hired a total of 7 girls plus the 2 guys making it a total of 9 people in the three years i've been there.
I did manage to make friend up here. And didn't really come out to too many people till i met this hot guy online. Spent time with him (most of summer), doing stuff i hadn't done before, and before everyone jumps to the sexual mind, we went camping, connoing, and did some other stuff that i didn't normaly do with any of my previous friend. Mostly because i didn't want people to treat me the way they do when they find out someone is gay. Funny thing is that somepeople actually aren't as prejiduce as you would think. I had this one guy who was nice to me till he did find out, then he acted like i had some kind of disease.(which thank the high powers that i don't. other than that most of my friends where cool with it, or tolerated it, probably because i was still very straight acting.
Any how the guy i met, jet incase you all where wondering, is a nice guy. And if you've read my last blog, yeah he's kind of pissed at me (or so i think).
This past year has caused me a lot of problems, one because i work with ignorant people, (not because they are wemon, becuase i've always been comfortable around them.) but because no matter how much you try to show them how to do the job, they don't want to remember what there suppose to do.
Hence the reason why i'm kind of relieved to get my ged and try going to college.
The problem i have lately is that because of all the stress of work, and having a big family of which i didn't have when i left this town (so i have to do a lot of stuff for them when they ask), and having a mother who always needs to go see the doctor all the time. I've just been under alot of stress. So when it finally came down to the time my truck decided to break down. I finally had it. And because the sweet guy i was seening was nice enough to offer me rides when i needed it, i cracked. (I love him dearly, but he's having problems of his own, and i didn't want him to drive all the way out to get me, when he lives closer to where we go to chat with our friends.)
Hence the fight we had, and now i haven't heard from him in over a week, haven't seen him in two weeks. and really missing him.
And to top it all off, i've been feeling a big case of desa veu all week. It feels like i've been doing alot of the stuff i've been doing, before....
I've had dreams of doing stuff before i've done them. And no i'm not saying i'm a psycic. Although that would be cool.... It's just when there are big changes in my life i get some kind of dream or desa veu before they happen. And because i've been under stress, and having my ged tests comming up (no i didn't do them this month because of the holidays, and they only do them a certain day of the month). I've been having a lot of big changes to my life this year. One i fell for a guy. two i've been studing for my ged tests, and three i think i'm starting to head the direction i wanted for life. (or at least i would if my friend would come back).
The thing is life is funny, you start off not knowing where you want to go, but when you finally head in the right direction you feel better about yourself, and yeah bad things happen but i think i've learned i need to lay off the people i like, and start taking my stress out in something else, like video games, or maybe talk to someone instead of hideing all the time.
well i know my blogs keep getting more personal, and less sexual. but i think it's time i started letting people know who i am..
and thanks to all who have left comments, and to all who have read my blogs, some of them are actual things i've done, and some are stuff i dream up...
In the long hull i think i will try to make new friends, and get to know the people in my community that aren't afraid of gay people.. who knows maybe i'll get more friends. then again i could always get kicked out of town, and put in a circus, but thats for another time till then thanks to everyone, you've helped me out alot.