Cruel to be Kind  

rm_gata11459 57F
8849 posts
7/26/2006 3:51 pm

Last Read:
3/16/2008 10:40 pm

Cruel to be Kind

About 6 months ago I wrote a letter to someone that I love very much, and it hurt her very much. The letter wound up creating a deep gap in our friendship, and I realized that it would do that, but what I had to tell her was more important than that, because there was damage being done to her, and i didnt want to see that. I loved her then and I love her now as much. When I hear the question "would you keep a secret from me" it really brings up a double edged sword for me...I am a firm believer in friendship, and in honesty. Don't get me wrong, im no saint, and have told many a lie in my life. But when i care about someone, i care deeply, totally, and with no reservations. I dont let people in easily to me, but when i do, they are in.. all the way. If i tell them the truth about something, then it would never to be to hurt them, or because i have an alterior motive, it would be because it was something that needed to be said. I have met some others like me.. others that believe that it is better to make a sacrifice than to see another that you care about sacrificed. Life can be kind of an all or nothing deal at times. So I have a question for all of you.. because most of you that come here to visit me are my friends. We know each others lives, so i can feel comfortable asking you. If there is a person that is deeply cared about, and that person is being hurt behind their backs by someone else that pretends to care about them, should you tell them? What if you tell them, and the other person (the mean one) turns it around to save themselves? Makes what you told in honesty a lie to help them selves? What if it goes to far? What if it begins to become a personal attack that can harm the person that tells? What if you are the friend of all of them, and love the two main people very much? And you see things barreling out of control, and it is becoming a public forum that can destroy lives? Lets face it people, this is a sex site. Many of us are not "supposed" to be here. But while we are here, we become involved in lives and grow affection and feelings for each other, and we stick our neck out for each other, should this become a bullet in our heads? The double edged Gillette to our wrist? No.. it shouldn't but this is real life after all.. and i suppose we all take the risks associated with living. I guess that is what happens to society as a whole isnt it? I mean no good deed goes unpunished?


Peace xxx K



lonelydonegal 36M
72 posts
7/27/2006 12:07 am

Well huni you do what you think is best I say, you only had your friends wellbeing at heart. The wheel of karma will keep turning, because you've been kind and caring good things will come your way. Though sometimes we overlook all the good things that are in our lives expecting one big thing to come our way.

I dont know how either party can blame you huni, but as blonde367 put it, it is often a case of shoot the messenger. Please dont let it get you down


rm_jurgon3 55M
4603 posts
7/27/2006 7:41 am

well i think we have all been in that position, and as we rake our brains to come up with the right solution, we have to make a tough decesion. you were honest with your friend for all the right reasons, and honest with yourself, if the tables were turned you would want your friend to be honest with you. your friend will one day see the light, so hold your head up high and smile!

Be lucky!


irishandopen

7/27/2006 12:16 pm

Every situation is different and there are no hard and fast rules for it unfortunately. Some times telling the truth is the wrong thing to do because the person you are telling is just not willing to hear what your saying therefore the action causes pain for everyone involved and no change to the situation. The best rule of thumb is that honesty is the best policy but only you can judge if it applys in any individual case


rm_gata11459 57F
10597 posts
7/27/2006 9:14 pm

    Quoting blonde367:
    its a case of shoot the messanger hun,is it not and the whole point gets lost,except to a few....and it should never become a public forum for debate..all gets out of control that way xoxoxo J
has been the case since the beginning.. the bearer of bad news is the bringer of bad fortune.. kill him xoxo k

Peace xxx K


rm_gata11459 57F
10597 posts
7/27/2006 9:16 pm

    Quoting lonelydonegal:
    Well huni you do what you think is best I say, you only had your friends wellbeing at heart. The wheel of karma will keep turning, because you've been kind and caring good things will come your way. Though sometimes we overlook all the good things that are in our lives expecting one big thing to come our way.

    I dont know how either party can blame you huni, but as blonde367 put it, it is often a case of shoot the messenger. Please dont let it get you down
gawd lonley that pic of your cock reminds me of dilbert's boss lmao

Peace xxx K


rm_gata11459 57F
10597 posts
7/27/2006 9:17 pm

    Quoting rm_jurgon3:
    well i think we have all been in that position, and as we rake our brains to come up with the right solution, we have to make a tough decesion. you were honest with your friend for all the right reasons, and honest with yourself, if the tables were turned you would want your friend to be honest with you. your friend will one day see the light, so hold your head up high and smile!
jurgon.. yes i was.. and i dont regret it, even if she didnt take it at the time it planted a seed xoxo k

Peace xxx K


rm_gata11459 57F
10597 posts
7/27/2006 9:21 pm

    Quoting irishandopen:
    Every situation is different and there are no hard and fast rules for it unfortunately. Some times telling the truth is the wrong thing to do because the person you are telling is just not willing to hear what your saying therefore the action causes pain for everyone involved and no change to the situation. The best rule of thumb is that honesty is the best policy but only you can judge if it applys in any individual case
shando i agree.. if the truth is going to be more painfull or devestating then the lie it should be kept away. but this is rarely the case. It cant be told with malice or to try and teach someone a lesson, if it is told with care and love it can hurt true, but pain is not always bad, it is a sense that is there for us to protect ourselves from harm. I may not know how to express it correctly, but i dont think that a lie is good for anyone.. it has a tendency to fester and infect xoxo k

Peace xxx K


amber3471 45F

7/28/2006 2:36 am

Hiya Gata thought id drop in on your blogs, but I have to agree with Blonde on this one, and you were right in telling your friend the truth as I wouldve done the same myself

Axx


runzwithknives 59F

8/1/2006 4:00 pm

If there is a person that is deeply cared about, and that person is being hurt behind their backs by someone else that pretends to care about them, should you tell them?

Yes, K. Because it happened to me-no one said a word thinking either I'd figure it out or already knew. I didn't. The hurt was almost unbearable with a double betrayal. From one and then the ones that said nothing. Just be as loving and as kind as you can. Be truthful adn stand you ground with both, for both. Hugs, Rosa


rm_gata11459 57F
10597 posts
8/1/2006 11:47 pm

    Quoting runzwithknives:
    If there is a person that is deeply cared about, and that person is being hurt behind their backs by someone else that pretends to care about them, should you tell them?

    Yes, K. Because it happened to me-no one said a word thinking either I'd figure it out or already knew. I didn't. The hurt was almost unbearable with a double betrayal. From one and then the ones that said nothing. Just be as loving and as kind as you can. Be truthful adn stand you ground with both, for both. Hugs, Rosa
rosa... you are right, if a true friend tells me something that is painful, i know they are telling me because they love and care for me, because they had the balls to care enough to tell.. i would rather be hurt by honesty than gutted by lies. xoxo k

Peace xxx K


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