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worst date I have ever had the horror of living through
worst date I have ever had the horror of living through
Goddamn am I disappointed on so many levels...
Had my first date with another woman in 8 years.
She was so freaking cute too! Beautifully gorgeous face, nice, full, curvy body. A real knockout.
We met 10 days prior (just before Xmas) and had agreed to have a date for the opening party for the L Word. Would have "done something sooner" except both of us had a ton of holiday plans. She and I spoke on the phone a few times during that time and she seemed normal...
I swear on my life that all of the following is true!!! I couldn't make this shit up if I tried!
Anyway, since we had to drive into the city for the event, we planned to meet at the bar we met at originally. I was then going to drive both of us... I felt comfortable with this because many people at the bar 'knew her' and she didn't seem like a psycho...
So we get in my car and she has a cooler-type bag with beer in it! Says she is too cheap to buy beer at the bars and often sneaks it in. Begins to start to try to open bottle, while I am driving on bighway!!! I said, "this is my husbands' car I am driving tonight... and I really don't want to get stopped with an open container".
She seemed irritated that I said this, but opened it anyway! She said, "don't worry I will hold it down and be careful" --offers me a beer, which I tactfully declined.
In my brain I am freaking out... but honestly, did not know what to do! And, oK, right there and then I thought, you have officially fucked up royally, and there is no chance with me whatso ever. However, going to just make the best of it, go to the L Word event, and use this as an opportunity to brush up on my dating/ dipomacy skills!
We drive the 30 min drive to the event... along the way, she drank her 1 beer and thankfully did not dip into the rest of her 6-pack stash! But, whenever we passed a cop she pointed it out and then made sure she told me that cops are assholes, they always hassle her, they always accuse her of being drunk (wonder why, sherlock!), and that they are racist against her (she is part native american).
Revelations about her she reveals on this 30 minute car ride:
-she is driving on a suspended licence, due to a non-deserved DUI (sure)... and so she is so, so glad I am driving down into the city!!!
-she supposedly had an affair with a local morning dj personality, before he was married when she was 18-20. And that he was "into fresh, young meat" but was "very generous" and "helped sponsor her in beauty pageants and getting modeling contracts"
-she tells me she is living with an older guy who has 2 children her age (she is 25)... that he is an asshole, but helps pay her bills.
Wow, what a night this is turning into!
Ok, so we get to the event. Doors open at 6:30, event starts at 8. We got there at 6, but there is no line and we got a parking spot practically in front of the club!
So of course, she says well, lets just sit in the warm car--drinks another beer and again offers one to me, which I turn down again.
We get into club. Officially it was no cover, but a $10 cover for a charity. Now, to be fair, I had asked her if she wanted to go to this event with me... so I expected to pay her cover... Turns out the girl has only $3 in cash on her anyway.
At first, not too many people, but by showtime it was packed. Shewas basically chatting, and doing people watching. (I am interacting as little as humanly possible and trying to figure out how to bow out gracefully before the end of the night).
She points out everyone who has "bad hair" or is "ugly"... then points out one woman who is on the large-side and says, "hey, at least you and I don't look like her, I would kill myself if I ever got that fat". WOW!
Just before the tv screens start rolling the show, she gets within an inch of getting into a fight with some other lesbian who was trying to get a seat on the couch. She starts screaming at this woman, "who do you think you are you cow? My girlfriend (me?) and I were fucking here first, so go find somewhere else to sit your fat Chinese ass down!" As the altercation was about to come to blows, I said, "hey ladies, lets all just get along... I know its crowded, but come on now!" -- thankfully the Asian lesbian decided to move to one of the other screen areas, but first my my so-called-date yelled "yeah, get out of here you stupid drunk whore".
Anyway, we watched the episode, then left. Drove back to the original bar. Now it is 9:30. Its karaoke night at the original bar. She asked what my plans were for the rest of the night. I said, I guess karaoke.
So she was at my side like "white on rice" all night. She, of course, kept going out to her car to sneak in her beers (guess she realized I was not going to buy her drinks!).
All the rest of the night she tells me she is so happy to have met me, that I am not a "fucked up bitch with issues" (um... like you?), that I am so sweet and that she really wants to see me again... she just cant wait for us to go out again and hang out!
Well, karaoke was practically dead, so the bar closed early at midnight. I made my graceful as possible exit... Only physical contact was a very caste hug good bye--thank god! She wanted to kiss me, but I cut that off before it could happen!
And to top it all off... turns out she left her cell phone in my car. (all I have is her cell phone number, no other way to contact her). I think I will just turn it into the original bar and leave a voicemail on the cell --hopefully, she has the intellect to know how to check messages remotely.