giving, or being taken?  

rm_funinic 48M
562 posts
4/23/2006 11:01 am

Last Read:
5/22/2006 2:15 am

giving, or being taken?

(written Friday, posted Sunday, was a little distracted with pain and unrelated pleasure all weekend...)

Some people give willingly of themselves, taking pleasure in helping others. Some lose their sense of self, defining their lives by the effect they have on everyone around them. They feel happy, glow with the knowledge that they helped someone.

There are those who come to be dependent on them, instead of becoming independent. Instead of dealing with their own problems, they heap them on those offering help. Eventually, instead of accepting the help offered, they take the help they want. It's a slow process of transition, and it's hard to define the moment when giving turns to being taken.

Those in the moment can't see it, consumed by the give and take, the flow of energy, the help needed (or wanted) and given.

Those outside this transaction see it clearly, but from different perspectives.

Where does it end? What can they do?

All I can do is define my role, in that kind of relationship, in each case.

Give as I am able, to those in need.

Accept help when it is offered, when I need it.

If I find myself taking instead of accepting, wanting instead of needing, I should apologize and hope my benefactor will forgive me.

Somehow I doubt that the people who most need to change their ways will ever come to a similar conclusion. The takers of this world need to be told of their mistake, showed the difference between need and want, forced to watch the pain and suffering they leave behind in their taking to satisfy wants.

Tonight I'm going to try to give an unexpected gift, renew someone's faith in the giving of help when it's not asked for. I'm a little afraid that I'm not up to the task, I've had a lot of hits in my life in the last few months.

Then again, giving is supposed to result in filling my cup, not draining it.

No matter, my purpose tonight is to make it fun and distracting for someone I've come to like very much in recent weeks. I'll let you know how it goes, if my simplistic philosophy works.

gypsy1629 41F

4/23/2006 2:41 pm

hey babe cannot wait to come and see how your idea worked out for you...I sincerely hope it all went well....take care and be safe....


rm_funinic 48M
823 posts
4/23/2006 3:22 pm

    Quoting gypsy1629:
    hey babe cannot wait to come and see how your idea worked out for you...I sincerely hope it all went well....take care and be safe....

I posted that verbatim from the draft I wrote Friday and was unable to post...

Short version: It worked.

Friday night was glorious, tweaking the collective nipples of all the blustering, innuendo-spouting, frustrated, unawakened people at a party. Some were uncomfortable, some were intrigued, some were shocked. Two were intensely curious about my appearance there with someone new, and one was bold enough to ask the question.

That night definitely made a difference in my emotional state, though I was concentrated on making her life happier. It did...

The next morning I had to tell my parents they wern't going to see me, my soon to be ex-wife, or their granddaughter until they changed the way they were acting and talking. That's a hard thing to do. I'm still shaking a little at the obvious aftershocks that are coming from that conflict.

It had to be done, and now it is.

rm_funinic 48M
823 posts
4/24/2006 10:08 am

    Quoting PassionsWine:
    Wow sounds simular to a post I did just a bit a few hours ago and before I came here ,, kinda spooky.
I saw it, too...

What other common elements are there in our lives, I wonder?

__Huntress__ 55M/57F

4/24/2006 5:57 pm

Wow, how much has changed in a couple of days !! Is this my "Fun" speaking ?


rm_funinic 48M
823 posts
4/24/2006 11:00 pm

The same...

Still not wanting to fly alone, and still circling... Care to join me?

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