The Haze  

rm_funinic 49M
562 posts
5/1/2006 6:48 pm

Last Read:
5/3/2006 8:22 pm

The Haze


Do you ever find yourself hovering on the edge of waking? The last images of a dream, playing again, while you try to recall them and find the reason you feel the way you do?

For me it's like waking in a fog, a haze of images, that blur more and more, finally coalescing to form the blurry (nearsighted...) image of where I wake up.

I've been waking in different places recently, thanks to my separation. It's very disorienting to me. Sometimes it takes a good minute of subjective time to remember where I am and why I'm there. No, alcohol is not a factor. I just wake up slowly.

Sometimes I try to stay in that state, when I've been dreaming a relaxing or erotic dream and can control my wakefulness. I've only managed that a few times.

No matter how hard I try, it always clears, and I'm left with a sense of loss, when I can't remember the happy place I was in during my sleep...

haze of dreams fading
consciousness freely drifting
fog clears at sunrise

rm_funinic 49M
823 posts
5/1/2006 11:25 pm

    Quoting BigGirlzRSweet:
    I hate it when I can't recapture a dream I was having... or the feeling of the dream I was having. It's such a luxury when I can roll back over and take up right where I left off.

    I sometimes awaken in a 'brain fog' or at least that's what I call it. I can often walk around for quite a while with that fog in my head left over from dreaming and sleeping. I do hate that feeling, however... it's not the same as that dreamy feeling.
I feel frustrated when I can't recapture the same feelings I was having in the dream...

I saw an alarm clock today, it rings a bowl (think zen meditation) with increasing frequency. First interval is ten minutes... I think I'll try to set up some way that's cheaper than the $150 for that clock, but the concept sounds great. Wake up gently, gradually. I hate jerking awake to the damn alarms.


curvymeli 39F

5/2/2006 9:10 am

Sometimes for me dreams are too intensely emotional and I want to shake them away, but the days that I wake up and the buzz I am feeling from that good dream makes up for it.

I hope your disorientation finds you less often than the good buzz does.

Meli


rm_funinic 49M
823 posts
5/2/2006 10:14 am

I can tell when I'm down or sick, my dreams don't leave me hard first thing in the morning. That's the best way for me to wake up. Slightly frustrated a lot of the time, no one to show and no time to help myself but it really gets me going for the day.

The days I do get to work it off end up being very good days, unless I get an emotional hit some time before bed. Those have been coming too frequently recently.

At some point I'm going to feel like I need to completely eject from everything and start over. I never understood why my soulmate (friend of close to 20 years who died in December) did that, at least three times. He had the opportunity to live completely different lives before he died. I'm not sure I'm that strong, or that selfish. People are beginning to tell me to start thinking of myself, and that's where my thoughts turn.


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