HELP ME!!!! I NEED ADVISE  

rm_firehot2003 56M
2111 posts
6/1/2006 10:42 am

Last Read:
8/6/2006 4:26 am

HELP ME!!!! I NEED ADVISE

Have you ever felt powerless and helpless when tring to help someone who has been unwell.

Have you ever really wanted to help and didn't know how or what to do.

Did you ever try so hard to help someone that you ended up maybe pressureising them.

How do you tell someone you are really scared for them without it seeming like pressure

As you can see i'm clueless and helpless when all i want to do is be there with love and support to help this person through a tough time

Any suggestions for fire i could really do with some ideas

love firehotxxxxxx



rm_FreeLove999 46F
16127 posts
6/1/2006 11:42 am

it is very stressful looking after someone else who is ill, worrying about them etc. the first place to start is asking "what do you need from me?" however, i know when i am sick i find it impossible to say, and i can of need my husband to step in and do what is necessary. so what a sick person needs is pampering, being encouraged to rest. try not to let them feel your worries and concerns so much as your support ... get them as comfortable as you can under the circumstances. it sounds like you may also be dealing with someone who doesn't accept help easily -- is used to looking after themselves -- so you need to let them know it's ok to be needy, and remind them, that if you were ill you know they'd offer care and support... so there is no reason to feel bad about being ill.



[blog freelove999]


sexyariesgirl 57F

6/1/2006 5:55 pm

Just love her and comfort her darlin!

Power To FOK


Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
6/2/2006 9:29 pm

Don't know what the situation is, so this comment may be off target and totally meaningless. Even so, it's left with heartfelt good intentions.

Sometimes you can share and talk on things and do things to try and get a person to help themselves. But there's only so much you can do no matter how much you fret or wring your hands. Ultimately, it's up to that person to tend to whatever is going on. Even if you think she doesn't realize how badly she may need to tend to this - she probably has a good idea from what you've already shared with her. So now all you can do is be supportive, listen and suggest when there's an opening to do so.

It can be scary and crush a heart to watch somebody you care for when they are not well knowing there's only so much you can do, but that seems to be the reality of it. I could be wrong with regard to your situation - but that's been my experience. Best wishes to both of you and (((HUGS)))

Whisper...


shar1 55F
606 posts
6/3/2006 3:38 am

sometimes my love words are not needed. Just letting her know that you are there will be enough. that you will hold her, pick her up if needed, that you will listen, that you know what to say and when to say it....

She will let you know what she needs and when....


mycin62 54F

6/3/2006 5:21 am

Yeah, I know how it feels.

My advice, just be there for them and be VERY vigilant, especially if you think they may harm themselves.

Just be a good friend and LISTEN, sometimes that's all they need, someone to talk to.


rm_aqustic2 44M
1335 posts
6/3/2006 1:30 pm

fire from a person who has being, sick and helpless mate just offer it up, i was in a wheelchair for over a year, even now i only have one arm that works noboby wants to have to ask for help no mater what their prob is. people offered up their help to me i didnt want to take it and still dont, i found ways of taking it, ways of asking for it. just offer it up mate and make sure your there when your needed.


MOfunNOWWOW 55F

6/4/2006 7:31 am

    Quoting rm_aqustic2:
    fire from a person who has being, sick and helpless mate just offer it up, i was in a wheelchair for over a year, even now i only have one arm that works noboby wants to have to ask for help no mater what their prob is. people offered up their help to me i didnt want to take it and still dont, i found ways of taking it, ways of asking for it. just offer it up mate and make sure your there when your needed.
So on target and what makes things even more difficult is many times we women want you to be mind readers and during a illness because of losing our independence EVEN more so. Just do your best to try and mind read her needs. Thoughts and prayers sent your way and I hope you have someone to vent your struggles with this difficult time with your loved. Blessings to you both! {=}


MOMO
just a squirrel trying to get a nut


papyrina 51F
21133 posts
6/4/2006 11:19 am

just be there for her ,hugs to both of you


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


rm_rachael4445 59F

6/7/2006 3:55 pm

Fire...when I was very ill all I really wanted was someone to listen. I knew friends were very concerned for me and wanted to help, but I wanted to try to still be the independent lady that I've always been, eventually I realised that I did need help and could no longer do everything on my own....it's a slow process accepting these things, but I believe that it will happen....but most importantly just be there to listen. All the very best...


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