The Wicked Little Book of Quotes  

rm_fatty15451 52F
49 posts
6/24/2006 1:53 pm
The Wicked Little Book of Quotes


It's not what I do but how I do it. It's not what I say but how I say it. And how I look when I'm saying and doing it. Mae West

Sex got me in trouble from the age of 15: I'm hoping that by the time I'm 70 I'll straighten it out. Harold Robbins,

If I had my to live again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. Tallulah Bankhead

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you. Mae West

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long. Shelley Winters

Letter to George Burns: "Dear George, I've been married for eight years, I love my wife very much, but she's a nymhomaniac. What should I do?" George Burns: "Stop writing letters and count your blessings."

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I'd hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit. Jerry Hall

Men aren't attracted to me by my mind, they're attracted by what I don't mind. Gypsy Rose Lee

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. Mae West, From "Klondike Annie"

I lost my reputation young, but never missed it. Mae West

I generally avoid temptation, unless I can't resist it. Mae West

The phone went (rang) in the house and I answered it and this voice said, "Hello, how would you like a dirty weekend in Paris?" And then there was a silence and the voice said, "I'm sorry. Have I shocked you?" And I said, "God no-I was just packing." Helen Lederer

There are two good reasons why men go to see her. Those are enough. Howard Hughes

My boyfriend says my dress is so tight he can hardly breathe. Anon

In my sex fantasy, nobody ever loves me for my mind. Nora Ephron

If I told you you have a beautiful body, you wouldn't hold it against me would you? David Fisher

It is monstrously indecent. One wonders how two self-respecting people could face each other after performing it. W.T.Stead

Isn't it interesting how the sounds are the same for an awful nightmare and great sex? Rue McClanahan

Is there any greater or keener pleasure than physical love? No, nor any which is more unreasonable. Plato

If brevity is the soul of wit, your penis must be a riot. Donna Gephart

Is that a pistol in your pocket, or are you glad to see me? Mae West

But all my life I have been attracted to nice girls, the kind you aren't supposed to do it to, and they, too, have been brought up, at least in my generation, thinking they shouldn't do it either. How it ever gets done between nice people is a mystery to me. Allan Sherman

I can strut my pudding spread my grease with ease cause I know my onions that's why I always please. Nellie Florence

A riddle: A strange thing hangs by a man's thigh under its master's clothes. It is pierced in front, is stiff and hard, has a good fixed place. When the man lifts hs own garment up above his knee, he wishes to visit with the head of this hanging instrument the familiar hole which it, when of equal length, has often filled before. C.975 possible answer: Key

Up with the petticoats down with the drawers! You tickle mind and I'll tickle yours! English Folk Rhyme

And here and there I had her, and every where I had her, her toy was such, that every touch would make a lover madder. Sir George Etherege

Hooray! Hooray! The First of May! Outdoor screwing begins today! Folk Rhyme

The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the south. Lange Morrow

A man may talk inspiringly to a woman about love in the abstract-but the look in his eyes is always perfectly concrete. Helen Rowland

Boy meets girl; girl gets boy into pickle; boy gets pickle into girl. Jack WoodFord

In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily. Charles-Maurice De Talleyrand-Perigord

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. Mae West

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere. Helen Gurley Brown

Love is the answer; but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen

The only chaste woman is one who has not been asked. Spanish proverb

Diane: "My hearts saying 'yes', my mind's saying 'no'. Sam: "Why don't you let some other part of your body break the tie?" From "Cheers"

"May I print a kiss on your lips?" I said, And she nodded her full permission: So we went to work and I rather guess we printed a full edition. Joseph Lilientha

The follies which a man regrets most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity. Helen Rowland

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. Katherine Hepburn

A little she strove, and much repented And whispering "I'll ne'er consent" - consented. Lord Byron

"Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing." -Charles Bukowski

"It's the good girls that keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time." -Tallulah Bankhead

Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself

"It is not true that sex degrades women... if it is any good" -Alan Partridge

"There's no shortage of pussy- it's just the delivery system that's messed up." -Dr. Roy V. Schenk

"An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card." -Alex comfort

"If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter." -George Carlin

Proof is arbitrary... unless we're talking about sexual gratification

The angle of the dangle is equally proportional to the heat of the meat provided that the urge to surge remains constant.

In the nineteenth century masturbation was a disease; in the twentieth, it is a cure.

"It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be." -Brigitte Bardot

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer

Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

"It'll be a sad day for sexual liberation when the pornography addict has to settle for the real thing." -Brendan Francis

"The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral." -Aristippus

Sex is like a bridge game; if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand

"The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette."

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation... The other eight are unimportant." -Henry Miller

If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

"Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring." -S. J. Perelman

"Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie." -William Shakespeare

Sex multiplies the possibilities of desire.

"Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got." -Sophia Loren

"The brain is viewed as an appendage of the genital glands." -Carl Jung

"It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up." -Joan Rivers

"Cunnilingus is next to godliness." -Kali Nichta

"Some things are better than sex, some things are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it." -W. C. Fields

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