|Blogs > rm_emmie234 > Random Thoughts|
This happens to be my favorite time of year. In Florida, one can never predict when it will arrive. The cool crispness in the air. The cool breeze sending shivers through your body. The humidity gone for the next few months. The clear night skies, stars lighting the skies. Ah yes.
This brings back the memories of high school and college football seasons of the north with the groups of giggling girlschasing and being chased by the groups of boys all warmed by the bit of alcohol carried in their pockets. Sneaking kisses beneath the bleachers. Being warmed later by the field fires. Those were such awesome memories!
Now, my thoughts are consumed with my new lover. This man is totally amazing. I never thought that I would be lucky enough to experience love and passion again in my life. The smiles carry through, with friends commenting on the happiness that is aparent, the reason unknown. They assume that the horrific marriage is being reconciled. But, no, no, no. I laugh when they ask that question. The smiles have nothing at all to do with the man that I dream of one day being my ex. I cannot explain my smiles to them.
Many will never understand this forbidden love. I, myself do not feel entitled to his love. He is not mine to love, nor do I belong to him. We each are married to people that we no longer love. We stay where we are for our own reasons with our hearts, bodies and souls belonging not to the people we married, but instead to our lovers.
Each moment we have together is stolen. Each moment more precious than the last, for we realize that each one may in fact be the last memory that we shall have together.
Is it fair to continue? Should we just walk away? Should we be thankful for the moments that we have shared, treasure them and smile hoping that the other can find a way to be happy within the individual misery that the other must live from day to day? How have we ended up as we are?
Do you believe in destiny, that each encounter has a purpose? What is the lesson that we are to learn?
These are questions that I ask of myself each day as I think not only of the passionate embrace of my lover but also of his warm tender heart, the giving nature of his spirit, and the beauty of his soul that has been locked away in the dark for too many years.
A relationship with a married man may not always be what it appears to be from the outside.
10/30/2005 9:52 pm
Like looking in the mirror|
I feel your longing
I know this emptiness
I know this burning for the new
I believe in fate. Every encounter does have a purpose. The lesson we learn is that no one can make you 100% happy. In my opinion of course.
10/31/2005 4:33 pm
I must argue with you.|
There is one person that has the ability to make us happy.
That one person is ourself.
Of course, that is a difficult task, but possible.