Married Life  

rm_eastside81 35M
5 posts
9/3/2005 7:08 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Married Life

I need some advice about my marriage and maybe some of you could answer some questions for me.
I guess I start with a little background of me. I grew up in a poor part of TN and my parnets divorced when I was 6. I first got arrested when I was 7. I continued to have problems until I was kicked out at the age of 14. I fended for myself the only way that I knew how, by breaking the law. I eventually had an apartment in somebody elses name and payed my rent this way. I got locked up just before I turned 15 and didn't get out until I was almost 18. I have become a stronger person mentally and physically because of my past. Because of my past I made a promise to myself that I would never leave my kids fatherless to deal with the problems that I had to overcome.
Now I am married and have kids and have been for some time now. I feel that I am a good father. I play with my kids and I discipline them and I try to teach them values with letting themselves become victims.
My problem is that I have been married over 4 years and it's not getting any better. Before I got married to my wife we use to have sex a minimal of 5 times per week. Hell, sometimes we would do it 4 times in one night. After we got married I am luck to get it once every two weeks. Isn't this a big part of marraige? Isn't hard to hold an atraction after the passion stops? I still try to be romantic, but she finds a way to ruin it every time. Anytime I try to intiate anything sexual she shruggs away. If I try to talk to her about the problem than I hear about is "you don't love, all you think about is sex". Maybe I'm wrong, but I thought being intimate would help keep a marriage strong.
So do I leave my wife and lose being able to see my kids everyday or do I continue to be unhappy and be a good father? I would like all the advice I can get, thanks
P.S. Why do women change after marraige? If you love the person you married what do you do when that person changes?

thr3sum 33M/F
117 posts
9/3/2005 7:40 pm

I don't know why women change... we also had those issues for a short time. I was really just depressed. It put a funk in our bedroom habits, I sometimes slept on the couch...that's the depression. Then I took action to heal myself. Exercise and therapy, then AdultFriendFinder. Now my sex drive is greater than my husbands, I ain't too proud to beg and he gets it all the time.... Maybe you could sugest couple therapy, then you would be able to get down to the real problem... Lack of Libido is a symptom of somthing else.

Thats what I think....

take it sleazy, --->MISO<---

rm_pgn_man 39M
82 posts
9/3/2005 7:58 pm

Try thinking about little things you can do to make her day easier. Ask her what those would be and make a commitment to yourself that you will do what she asks of you. If she asks too much then negotiate and tell her what you will do, and do it. Be reliable, show her you are committed and then show her you are still wanting to flirt. Don't think about the sex, just be playful. She'll be happy with you helping out even more and enjoy being made to feel sexy.

To be really successful with this you need to be committed to this in the long term. In the end I think your kids would prefer to have you around, and so would your wife.


txtnkr 42M
2 posts
9/3/2005 8:36 pm

I don't think anyone understands why women change like that, even them. I've dealt with the same issue for a long time. I look at the thing I feel are most important to me. Of course I do bang my head against the wall a couple of times a day.

dano6332 56M

9/3/2005 8:37 pm

been there done that....... Hell I bought the Tshirt shop. If you want to stay by your kids you stay married period. I went the other way and got divorced and I am lucky to see them 1 or 2 times a week and I have to fight with her to get them. I would definitely recommend some counseling as there is something she is resenting, you screwed up or something else going on. EVERYBODY goes through this and you just need to stay at home and work it out. Trust me the grass is not always greener etc. Counseling is nothing to be afraid of (hell I hated the idea) but you will learn about about you, her and your marriage. If your insurance does not cover it contact your local county for free referals.

Good luck

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