Jokes for Visitors to the Blog  

rm_east2west67 49M
88 posts
7/21/2006 2:57 am

Last Read:
10/30/2006 5:17 am

Jokes for Visitors to the Blog


Visitors can add their jokes here, if they dont fit into one of the categories.

rm_pat1973i 43M
9 posts
8/14/2006 4:18 am

You may have seen these already - but they're still good!

Overheard Cricket Sledges

1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham:When Botham took guard in an Ashes match,
Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's
your wife & my kids?"

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:As Cullinan was on his way to the
wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance
to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo
Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?"
Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your mother, she throws me a
biscuit"

4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to
Smith after he played & missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to
Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine
pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed
called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed
Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing
batsman.

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West Indies,
Hughes didn't say a word toViv, but continued to stare at him after
deliveries.
"This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my
culture we just bowl."
Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman:
"In my culture we just say f**k *ff."

7. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which
was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga
called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in
Sydney...
"You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"

8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was
greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what
are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for
England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family"

9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste
like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll
F*ing rip your F*fing throat out."

10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore)
comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I
remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're

fu*king useless now".
Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were
Going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb
c*nt".

11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan
batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the
batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump
character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy
piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

12. Ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and
don't want to slander anyone ) shastri hits it to this guy and looks
for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the
crease i'll break your f***ing head"
Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the
f***ing 12th man"

13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and
missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get
out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first
slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a
word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises
sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred".
The reply is classic Trueman, "Not you, son. Your mother should've!"


rm_east2west67 49M
107 posts
8/18/2006 2:08 am

Great one Pat. How about adding some more!


rm_pat1973i 43M
9 posts
8/18/2006 3:54 am

Animals Who Stutter

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human

beings are the only Animals that stutter," she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered,"

she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could

become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the

Rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we

knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff,

Fffff'... and before he could say "Fuck," the Rottweiler ate him!"


buxomlady69 52F

9/8/2006 1:54 am

Ok as promised my little contribution...

Survey

In a recent survey into BJs, and why men liked them so much! It was found that...

6% liked the feeling
12% liked the excitment
and 78% just like the fucking silence

Carpe Diem..an unexamined life is not worth living


rm_east2west67 49M
107 posts
9/8/2006 7:54 am

**Looks up**

Thank you God for at long last sending Bux. I had faith !!


buxomlady69 52F

9/10/2006 7:31 am

wuvs ya east

Carpe Diem..an unexamined life is not worth living


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