I Don't Get It  

rm_dragonheat23 51M
977 posts
5/4/2006 6:15 am

Last Read:
5/10/2006 5:29 am

I Don't Get It

I have a friend who is also on this site. The other day she wound up in a hotel room with a guy that she had met up with a couple times before in “safe” surroundings. Things were going really good except for one thing. The guy is married and because of nerves, he had “equipment failure”. Yep, he couldn’t keep it at attention. She tried, but no dice.

Anyway, he wound up going down on her and did make sure that her needs were attended too. Three times to be specific. They spend some time kissing and cuddling and are planning on getting together again.

The thing is that she was disappointed because they didn’t get to do “the deed”. It seems to me that if she came three times, and had what sounded like a great intimate encounter, she really should not be upset. It may have been that she wanted him to have his turn, but I doubt that he was too disappointed.

So, would you have been disappointed if your partner couldn’t perform, but still took care of your needs? I don’t get it, but then I am looking at it from a male point of view.

And guys, if you had set up a rendezvous and because it was that time of the month, certain things were not going to happen, but she did make sure that you were taken care of, would it really matter?

HBowt2 58F

5/4/2006 7:31 am

Is there a chance that she might have felt she let him down......that maybe he didn't find her attractive enough....or that maybe it wasn't nerves but that he was feeling guilty.......

rm_dragonheat23 replies on 5/6/2006 5:50 am:
I think that guilt had a lot to do with it.

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
5/4/2006 9:45 am

I don't think she should've been disappointed, but there are times when I would like to fuck over getting a blow job. I just love the intensity of it more than I do a blow job.

rm_dragonheat23 replies on 5/6/2006 5:51 am:
I agree, that the deed is better than a blow job. He got one of those, but couldn't "finish"

southrnpeach333 50F

5/4/2006 11:46 am

I am with HBowt on this one. Maybe a female thing. But I would find myself worrying about the possibilities of an emotional component to the equipement problems.

rm_dragonheat23 replies on 5/6/2006 5:53 am:
I am supposed to meet him soon. It's one of those things you just can't ask though "so, I hear that you couldn't perform. Do think that maybe it was guilt? Let me give you some advice"
Just not gonna happen

NSAAddict 42F

5/4/2006 12:45 pm

Performance glitches happen all the time for whatever reason, she shouldn't let them bother her. If that's not the case and she is truly only disappointed because "the deed" wasn't performed, then that I don't understand. There are so many wonderful things to do on a playdate... inserting tab A into slot B shouldn't be looked at as the only main event. BTW, I just kissed you over on sexyD's blog, thought I'd stop in and see what sort I'm cavorting with Really enjoying your blog, glad I stopped by {=}, NSA

rm_dragonheat23 replies on 5/6/2006 5:54 am:
Thanls for the kiss. I stopped by your blog too. I really liked what I saw. I'll be back there.
Thanks for you input on this situation.

534 posts
5/4/2006 1:05 pm

    Quoting HBowt2:
    Is there a chance that she might have felt she let him down......that maybe he didn't find her attractive enough....or that maybe it wasn't nerves but that he was feeling guilty.......
I totally agree with HBowt2...and of course I would of tried to get him "excited" in other ways....Take care...~D~

rm_dragonheat23 replies on 5/6/2006 5:58 am:
Daisy, Thanks for stopping by
From what she told me, she tried other things to keep him going, but when it came time for penetration, he went soft and stayed that way.

absolutelynormal 56F
6563 posts
5/4/2006 4:55 pm

Perhaps she was all psyched up for the "deed" and was just disappointed when it didn't happen? I agree though, I would worry about the emotional stuff too. If he can't stand the heat, he should stay out of your friend's kitchen. Mac

moonfire2u 69F
2602 posts
5/4/2006 5:43 pm

One of the best lovers I ever had rarely could get it up...he was sensitive and caring...and was fantastic at pleasing me other ways...but the level of intimacy was incredible...it's not always about the 'deed'

kind thoughts,

MoJo32565 47M/31F

5/4/2006 6:47 pm

I have dealt with this many times with my best friend who I love more than anything in the world and who is also married. Sometimes he just can't get it up, and it's usually because of his neck/spine hurting. He's usually in pain from it but, when the pain becomes too much, he becomes impotent. It's a disappointment because nothing beats the feel of him inside me. But I am still happy to see him and I love spending time with him, just talking, cuddling, whatever. Even though I know the reason, the thought still slips in sometime that maybe he just doesn't want me. If I voice it, he's quick to promise that it's not me, it's him.

MoJo32565 47M/31F

5/4/2006 6:50 pm

When I was with my ex, we wouldn't have sex at that time of the month (as you so eloquently put it) because he wasn't interested in it, except for the first time we met and he was so horny and I was so drunk that he put a towel down. But I would always make sure he got taken care of. I wouldn't want to leave a man without him getting to cum at least once and in my mouth is just as good as in a condom.

With my best friend, who obviously always comes over to my house, I just tell him that his timing sucks but that's too bad. I've got towels and he's going to fuck me anyway. He doesn't have any problem with it. Besides the fact that I am usually hornier then, there's that extra lubrication...

pet_humility 48F

5/5/2006 6:17 am

If fucking is what I wanted to do, then I might be disappointed, but not upset. What you going to do if it don't arise to the occasion.. add some Popsicle sticks to it and hope for the best?..lol

Fox4aKnight1 43F

5/5/2006 7:45 pm

I think Hbowl is on track here. To some degree it is an ego thing, like they don't find us attractive enough perhaps.
just my 2 cents worth


Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
5/9/2006 2:11 pm

No, I would not be disappointed. That stuff happens. But we're all different about these things. I'm so playful and curious, I'm happy at trying alternatives to achieve orgasm and am happy anytime I get to enjoy an orgasm be it brought on by a hard cock or other means.


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