rm_dragonheat23 51M
977 posts
1/23/2006 8:45 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


This weekend, I had an interesting experience. My wife and I were invited to a party. That, in of itself was no big deal. However, the party was at a mutual friend of the guy that she was involved with. There was a pretty good chance that he would be there.
My wife asked me if I wanted to go, knowing that he might be there. I haven’t talked to him since November, although my wife has, to tell him it was over. She asked me not to talk to him (or his wife) as it would make “a bad situation worse”. So I haven’t.
I decided that yes, I did want to go. I can’t stop living my life because of the past. I realized that he had become a non-person to me. I didn’t care if he was there or not. Or at least that’s what I told myself.
As it was, he didn’t show up and a good time was had by all. Part of me wished that he had been there. I wonder what it would have been like to be face to face with the person who was 50% responsible for destroying so much of my life. To be eye to eye with my wife’s (ex)lover. To look at each other knowing that the pain and heartache I feel was caused by him. What would I feel?

angelgrrl 48F

1/23/2006 10:28 am

I think going was a good idea. Since you two were friends, you will eventually run into each other, and it will be awkward and awful. And many feelings you thought you were over will again be brought to the surface. My guess is he doesn't want to see you and your wife together, reconciled so he may be the one who ends up doing the avoiding. Which is right, because no matter how painful it is for him, he brought it on himself.

rm_dragonheat23 51M
1158 posts
1/23/2006 12:09 pm

Angelgrrl, I thank you for your support in my decision. It would have been very uncomfortable for all of us, but I am not the type of person to bury my head and pretend. If he avoids me, that is his problem, I am going to follow my heart.

moonfire2u 69F
2602 posts
1/23/2006 4:08 pm did the right are the one entitled to the freedoms of your life with your wife...he should be worried about running into sounds like you and your wife have working through some though times...These in many ways can make your relationship much stronger...I wish you the best...

kind thoughts,

rm_dragonheat23 51M
1158 posts
1/24/2006 4:11 pm

Moonfire, I thank you for your thoughts. Yes, we do have a lot of things to work through and many of them are going to be very challenging. Even if doesn't make the relationship stronger, it will make me stronger.

angelwoarose 41F

1/25/2006 2:59 pm

DRAGONHEAT, I was once where you are...and I wanted very badly to face the woman that ruined my relationship...and at the time I thought my life... In my case we tried to repair the damage, but it was too late and to continue trying would have made it worse on us both...but for you I hope things can be worked out. Its hard feeling betrayed and not having the trust there...but I have read many of your blogs and you are an amazing man. Hang in there...for you there will be a love (either current or future) that will fulfill your every desire. *hugs and kisses*

rm_dragonheat23 51M
1158 posts
1/26/2006 6:24 am

Angelwoarose, I hope you are right. I appreciate your hugs and kisses. I can use as many of them as I can get right now.

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