Lonely??? Hmmmm....  

rm_dizzyandfun 48F
1211 posts
9/7/2005 6:48 am

Last Read:
5/27/2009 11:13 am

Lonely??? Hmmmm....

Funny. In the last week or so I have been asked 4 times if I m lonely, or comments have been made that " You MUST be". Why?? Because I choose not to go out partying all the time, or dont have anyone permanent or even semi-permanent in my life? Maybe I give off the impression that I am ( how, I dont know. I m not!). It did get me thinking though. One comment wouldnt have, but 4 was too much of a coincidence.
I came to the conclusion that the loneliest I have ever been was when I was married,and it has saddened me greatly to realise that. The physical presence was there, sure. But that was about it. Everything was so geared and focused on his needs,wants and whims that I guess in the end he forgot that there were two of us in that so called "partnership". In fact, I m probably suprised he even rememembered my name sometimes haha. ( in fact, once, making love (if it could be called that) he called me by his ex wifes name. Easy done I guess (shrugs).
Anyway, knowing what loneliness is, I can honestly answer the comments and say, No, I am not. I have never been happier or more content in my whole life. I have many, many friends, both in life and on AdultFriendFinder, for which I am thankful and appreciate greatly. As to anyone permananent or even semi permanent in my life, I dont think I can even contemplate that right now. Maybe thats what is causing people to question me. But, honestly, do you HAVE to be in a relationship to be happy?? To make others happy? To conform to their ideas of how life should be?? Perhaps I m too selfish for that - I am only looking at my OWN happiness, not anyone elses idea of what I "need" to be (their version) of "happy". The friends who love and know me best know that.


GoodMorningBrew 51M

9/7/2005 8:03 am

That's scary! Not you or your past, but me in the present. My life. Maybe it is just a midlife crisis? I truly do feel lonely in my relationship. I too, have my life revolving around her. All my family and friends are out of here, refering to this mundane pattern. But, I have to think of the child. Damn, I'm glad I found you all. Thanks!

TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
9/7/2005 8:32 am

I have to say, I know exactly what you're saying. I've been in the position of being lonely with someone else there ... and I never want to go down that road again.

As far as I can see, being in a relationship may be part of a happy life but it's not necessary for you to be happy. If you've found a life which suits you - for the time being - grab it with both hands and don't let anyone make you question it. You can always change your mind when it suits you - woman's prerogative x

AlbertPrince 57M

9/7/2005 9:48 am

Do as TQ says - grab it with both hands. I can't wait for him to turn round if it's gonna take two hands!

rm_dizzyandfun 48F
752 posts
9/7/2005 1:25 pm

GMB..scarey is right. I think, in any partnership/marriage the word equality doesn t exist. There will always be a dominant and a less dominant partner. Thing is, how far do you go? The big question is, though, if you loved them or they loved you enough to make that comittment, why do they want to change you/ you them - just because youre a couple??

rm_dizzyandfun 48F
752 posts
9/7/2005 1:41 pm

Albie...if he EVER does turn round....I WILL. lol

Diz xx

TheQuietGuy2005 54M
2386 posts
9/7/2005 9:19 pm

Dizz ... I have known some relationships which seem to be based on a fundamental equality with just that give and take on both sides that's necessary in any relationship. Not often, it's true, and not any long-term relationship I've been in, but some. They're the ones that seem happiest, strangely enough ...

And, just for you ...{turns around}

rm_dizzyandfun 48F
752 posts
9/8/2005 11:01 am

J: I bow to your obviously superior knowledge ( but only because you turned around!!!))

dizz xxx

brightblonde3 58F

9/11/2005 11:47 am

Dizzy, usually the people who comment on how lonely someone must be are the loneliest ones themselves. Savor your life just as it is.

P.S. Don't tell Q...but (butt?) perhaps the two of us could persuade him to turn around? BB3

rm_dizzyandfun 48F
752 posts
9/13/2005 7:38 am

BB....lets give it our best shot haha!! I m sure he d LOVE to !! Who could resist....

rm_EE407 41F
3903 posts
9/18/2005 11:39 am

Dizzy,... my life is like yours.... and I'm most happy and content with it... Keep it... and uhm.. send me the pic of Q turned around.. k?

rm_dizzyandfun 48F
752 posts
9/22/2005 8:15 am

EE...as soon as I can get him to....I WILL lol xx xx

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