..near.life..  

rm_deathbunnyVW 30M
1 posts
12/16/2005 11:51 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

..near.life..


2:35 AM. fuck, is that really the time or is this clock wrong?
This is the third night of no sleep. Nevermind the uppers still tingling their way out of my system, I believe I am near a breakthrough.
Of what?
I dont know. But it seems with the way things had been going latley that I have been trying to deciphur something.
.
.
.
How many nights had this been going on?
How much money had I wasted on drugs, beer, champaign and cigarettes?
.
.
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5 days.
.
.
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Memory explosion: abrasive shrapnel tears at the tender walls of my subconcious. In most of my past week all I can remember is the really high points, most of which were when I was jerking off.

Figures right? You try to brutalize your mind relentlessly for days with altered reality to escape to the other side, sober with a hightened sense of perception and self awareness.

But it seems that masturbation is about as human as it gets. The rawest of human emotions flowing in a continuous, purley lust driven moment of absolute clarity.
.
.
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a near-life experience.
So perhaps that's how it goes: mankind is desperate to orgasm in to oblivion before we realize that the real meaning of life is just to stay alive until you die.
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..i.need.a.cigarette..
.xo.

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