Ne illegitimi carbunculi tibi in facie sint  

rm_deaminveni 50M
139 posts
10/31/2005 8:58 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Ne illegitimi carbunculi tibi in facie sint

Loosely translated, I believe, as "Don't let the bastards grind you down".

This should be the clarion call of workers, and customers of faceless organizations, the world over. More and more organizations are crushing the innovation out of their workers, and treating their customers a faceless numbers, while simultaneously claiming to free their creative spirit and "treat you as an individual".

These organizations place their workers in cheap, but depressing, "open office" environments (or worse "cubicles"). They demand that workers be "creative" but rather than rewarding creativity they simply take the ideas, exploit them (often making vast profits) without doing more than awarding a paltry sum to he employee. They cover the wall with posters telling their employees what a wonderful organization they are. Why do you need to tell me. If you really are a wonderful organization to work for, I'll know, I'll enjoy working for you.

They offer customers a "personal" service, then give you a customer number and treat you as if you were the number.

An "organization" cannot love. An "organization" cannot care. It is an entity, not a person. It exists but it does not live. It is faceless. It is the agglomeration of hundreds or thousands of individuals, all of whom care in some form or other, but the sum of the whole is, in this respect, less than the sum of its parts.

Occasionally you are delighted when someone in one of these organizations genuinely proves to be helpful. Sadly, it would be better if that were the norm and we were astonished when we were treated otherwise. Service with a smile only counts when you mean it.

My experience with, what I can only assumed are ironically named, "Help Desks" is a case in point. They are seldom helpful;

"Welcome to Faceless Corp. My name is Bill, how may I help you today?" I can feel the saccharin smile.

"Well Bill, I have an inquiry about this final reminder you sent me."

"May I have your customer number please"

"Certainly, it's 1234567"

"Okay, just pulling up your details on my screen." Pause for computer to chew over my number, "Mr. Smith isn't it?"

"Yes Bill. Now, about this final reminder."

"Yes Sir, how may I help"

"Well Bill, the thing is I closed this account two years ago."

"Oh. I'm not seeing that on my screen."

"I see. But you are demanding that I pay you £100 on an account that does not exist"

"Oh dear, you'll need to go through to Account Services." Have you ever noticed how they manage to capitalize words?

"Hang on, I thought YOU were Account Services." I can capitalize words too Bill!

"No Sir, I work in Accounts Queries"

"There's a difference?"

"Oh yes. Just one moment while I put you through."

{ God awful hold music }

"Account services, my name is Jill, how may I help you?"

"Well, Jill, I have a problem with this demand for payment you've made."

"Oh, that would be Account Queries, I'm in..."

"Hold on there Jill, I just came from Account Queries. They told me it was you who could help."

"No, you need to talk with..."

"Hold it Jill. Look, the account you're demanding money on doesn't exist. I closed it two years ago."

"Oh that's not possible. We wouldn't demand money on a closed account."



"Sorry Jill. I gather your saying that the account wasn't closed. Despite the Account Closure Confirmation letter that I am looking at?"

"You have an Account Closure Letter?"

"I do"

"Well, in that case you can't have received a demand for payment Sir, that account will be closed.

"My point exactly Jill. I need YOU to help ME sort this out." Ha! Eat THOSE capitals Jill.

"I'm sorry Sir," I notice that the 'Sir' sounds remarkably like 'irritating asshole', "but I can't help you with that you'll have to speak with Customer Services."

And so it begins, a long journey through, various departments, numerous 'press one for..." systems, 'you are 1567th in the queue, your call is important to us. Please hold and one of our operators will bounce you to another department as soon as possible.', until you finally give up.

And this is their HELP DESK? At least is shows that someone in the organization has a sense of humour.

Occasionally I've encountered individuals manning (or should that be personing? I've never been good at this politically correct crap) a helpdesk when I have called. They have been polite, thoughtful, and above all have actually helped me. Why am I surprised by this? Why do I not expect this when I call?

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
10/31/2005 10:50 pm


The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

warmandsexy52 64M
13164 posts
11/6/2005 4:20 am

We only live once and then we're a long time dead. What craziness drives those who create organisations to put this inbetween? I guess they have large offices, PAs, high incomes and don't particularly care for their fellow travellers on this mortal coil.

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