What should I tell him?  

rm_curious4yrs 43F
5 posts
2/5/2006 10:14 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

What should I tell him?


I have a friend in trouble and could use some advice on what to tell him.

For me, this is odd coming from a man. However, I am trying to give the best possible advice.

He is a married man having an affair behind his wife's back. They are a Christian couple at their church (with other major factors).

Anyhow, he started seeing this woman (12 years younger than he). He claims to have developed some serious feelings for this young lady. From what he tells me, she has done the same. He has asked this young lady to have his child (he has 1 son whom he has no contact with-the mother's choice, none with his wife, & this young lady does have some I just don't remember how many). Long story short, he has told this younger woman that he loves her and dosen't want to lose her. He tells me she states the same. I have heard a few of their phone conversations and actually feel awkard. Although he and I are friends, I do know and have spent time with his wife.

Yes, he and his wife were having problems prior to his meeting this young lady. I am still baffled on what advice to give.

One of the problems is sexual between him and his wife. He has also told me, since having sex with the younger lady, he hasen't & dosen't want to touch his wife.

Well, here's where the plot thickens. I do & have for quite a bit of time, had feelings for him.

I have never told him how I feel and wonder if it would ruin a wonderful friendship. After all, I knew him before he meet both of them.

So what advice do I give as a friend? Do I reveal my TRUE feelings?

RockPebble 69M
2476 posts
2/6/2006 7:29 am

If they are truly a christian couple then you should tell him to talk to his priest and put it in God's hands.

Telling him about your feelings will complicate things at a time when they really need to be sorted out. After everything works out, however it works out, you can decide if you should tell him.


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