Old Flames Wanting to Flicker  

rm_creepnldy 40F
279 posts
5/22/2006 1:46 pm

Last Read:
5/23/2006 5:22 pm

Old Flames Wanting to Flicker

Mood 1: Flattered

What is it with old flames wanting to be rekindled when new ones exist? I guess I am technically free to do as I please, but I certainly don't want to rekindle something that didn't work the first time around.

The first one I ran into at a conference for work last week. I hadn't seen him in about 9 months, and we hadn't gone out in almost a year-and-a-half. We had initially met on one of those other online match-making sites about four months after my divorce, when I thought I wanted another relationship. We hit it off rather nicely through emails and marathon phone conversations--and, I am NOT one to talk on the phone for long but we would talk for hours and hours, until the sun came up. Then, we met in person, still hit it off, both had good heads on our shoulders and both of us reasonably attractive, but both of our schedules were crazy, and I met someone else before we could go out again...he did continue to call me, but there was no commitment, of course. So, last fall, we kinda "worked" together and took some college classes together. He was in a position senior to mine, and though he is definitely a dick to everyone else and to me when part of the group, he was always really nice to me individually. To be honest, I never thought I would see him again. Then, across the convention center, wearing his ACUs and butter bars, he was walking toward me. I stared at him to make sure it was him since I have difficulty recognizing people from that distance. (I recently started wearing glasses that really help with this.) I had thought I had seen him on post once before about a month ago, but I dismissed it as a coincidence. He walked over to me, looking quite shocked, and I just smiled and laughed. I introduced him to my friends and he asked what I was doing here. He seemed pleasantly surprised when I told him, and I told him that I thought I had seen him before but wasn't sure what he had been branched. He said he was here for the same amount of time as me, and then he said that I should call him and that we could get together. He said his number was still the same, but I didn't have it, so I told him and he asked for mine. It's weird when you run into someone from your past like this. I don't think I could ever actually date this person, but I would love to go have dinner or drinks and catch up with him. And, for some reason, he looked better than I remembered (could've been my hormones, which were taken care of this past weekend).

The other one has been crazy about me for years, I have just never felt the same. I actually feel guilty about it, but I love that we can keep a friendship--at least I can; he would love to blur those boundaries, given the chance. He made a CD for me of songs he wanted me to listen to that described how he felt. "The Reason" (which I do like, BTW)...check, other crap that says, "I am sorry for being a jerk, but I have always loved you and you are the only one for me"...check. One song did stick out. It was the one that he said really describes how he feels...this 6' tall 190 (used to be 230) pound man...it is "Tonight I Wanna Cry" by Keith Urban. It is simply beautiful, and I find myself listening to it several times a day. I think we've all felt that way at some point, but it makes me feel guilty that he feels that way about me. He is very attractive, by the way, and I do love him dearly. I have just never been in love with him...I love him more like a brother...well, maybe not like that since I used to fuck around with him quite a bit even after we broke up. I mean, the sex was really good, not the best I have ever had, but still good since we were very in tune with each other's bodies. So, anyway, I am putting the lyrics to this very moving song on here for you to enjoy, but you really should check the song itself out. I couldn't resist correcting a glaring grammatical error, but the song does use the wrong pronoun.

It's kinda flattering to see old flames who are still interested...but it's nicer when the current one is. *smile*

Tonight I Wanna Cry

"Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I (me) on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
'All By Myself' would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry"

Mood 2: Pissed Off but with a Smile

So, the airport lost my luggage yesterday, and with it, over $1500 in clothes, lingerie, and shoes...some of my favorite things, some of which can't be replaced. Totally sucks, so I have been alternating between the above song and Green Day's "Brain Stew" today...I just need to bang my head so I don't cry...or worse get rage...NTS, no Eminem today.

Mood 3: Somewhat Still Satisfied, but Horny for More

Mostly sexually satiated (due to tons of fun this past weekend) for a change...though I think I am off to masturbate and think about a certain lake hike...I can't wait for another weekend like the last one!
CLB


rm_TexNVa 49M/48F
376 posts
5/23/2006 3:32 pm

I wanna hear abou the lake hike.


rm_creepnldy replies on 5/23/2006 5:21 pm:
Mmmmmm....I bet you and everyone else would like to know. Suffice it to say that there were actually moments where I was so satisfied that I didn't want sex for at least an hour *big grin* and I am pretty sure he enjoyed himself, too. I hope he has been drinking and continues to drink plenty of fluids because I hope to see him again in a few weeks and plan to completely wear him out this time. Yes, I was holding out a bit...*devilish grin* I don't know if we will go out in public next time at all...I am thinking about an entire weekend spent in and around his house, but his pleasure (and, therefore, mine) will start on the way there. The next time I see him may be the last time for a while, so I am thinking that pizza delivery and home-cooking may be our only hope for food.

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