a trick question  

rm_connor696 60M
944 posts
7/6/2006 8:00 am

Last Read:
12/14/2006 3:12 pm

a trick question

Years ago, somewhere in mid-rant, I blurted out the $64,000 question: Why are we born only to suffer and die? To which conundrum a friend replied, "Well, it would be a hell of a lot worse if we only suffered and didn't die"--which is, of course, the Christian concept of hell: eternal suffering. And to that concept, it seems to me, a believer should respond in only one way, namely, "Sheesh, that Asshole really knows how to hold a grudge!"

But I'm thinking not of Christianity but of Greek mythology--specifically, the myth of Eos and Tithonus. It is said that Eos, the goddess of the dawn, fell in love with a mortal, as the Greek gods and goddesses were wont to do. Because she was (is?) immortal and wanted not even death to part her from Tithonus, her lover, she petitioned Zeus to grant him immortality, and Zeus finally acquiesced. But be careful what you wish for and all that, for though Tithonus was now immortal, he hadn't the gift of eternal youth. (Ironic point of logic: eternal youth entails immortality, but not vice versa.) And so he aged beyond ken, shriveling up to something resembling a hideous grasshopper. Eventually, Zeus "mercifully" and, if you think about it, somewhat paradoxically killed him with a thunderbolt. (I say "mercifully"--in cautionary quotation marks--because knowing Zeus, he was probably laughing his ass off.)

Well Tithonus, old chap, I feel your pain. No, really, I actually feel it. Because although I may act as if I'm about twenty, my body is beginning to have other ideas. Of course, no one escapes the ravages of age, and when I was younger I used to quip that I would be fine with aging as long as I didn't start to leak. Turns out I was not quite right. Whudda thunk it?

And for we lusty perverts here, doesn't the issue involve a special urgency? Even the most spiritual at this site understand the body as crucial, as a mechanism that allows a profound shared pleasure and pleasure-giving through which a certain pure and guileless communication can take place. And for those more materially inclined, the body is the selfish center (in both sense) of the physical universe.

I mean face it: there is a reason people generally want and post photos, and it isn't for identification purposes.

Now perhaps, as is often claimed, women are not as visual as men are. At best, I think, that applies only to sexual arousal and maybe to attraction. Because for all humans, vision dominates the other sense. "The ineluctable modality of the diaphane," James Joyce called it, though he might as well have said, "Seeing is believing." But that's not enough, for however (hetero or bi) women might relate to the sight of a muscular, well-defined male body with a tight ass and a head of thick hair (and judging from a lot of profiles, they relate quite positively), they certainly enjoy the tactile, the feel of the male body against their own. And once again, profiles seem to indicate that they prefer the feel of a strong, fit, and youthful one.

I used to work out a fair amount. No, I was never an Adonis, much less a Heracles. Okay, I was not a Greek god at all (which in the case of Haephestos is a good thing, but I digress). Still, I was fairly well cut; my muscles, such as they were (I'll always be thin), pretty well defined. I worked hard at it, and the payoff was inarguably a small boost to my self-esteem. But some possibly permanent injuries have kept me out of the gym, And I feel myself becoming not just out of shape but--gak!--old. It seems to happen much more quickly when you're not actively staving it off. And the issue becomes all the more central for those of us who, however interesting we or our lives might be, can offer little in the way of affluence or accomplishment.

Will a new lover accept my aging body? I find myself afraid that she will not. And I'm pretty sure she won't view it as an asset. Had my ex-wife and I not divorced, I think to myself, we would have grown old together, have shared that inevitable process, and--through the commitment and mutuality that a marriage should embrace--found that our deepening love made our aging bodies all the more precious to each other. But now, out there in the dating pool--well, it's one less attribute I have to offer. No more tight T-shirts in the clubs; no more tank tops on summer bike trips; no more anticipation of my new lover's expression when I peel off my clothes.

I know society pushes women to think thoughts such as these. All those plastic-surgery TV shows attest to that, as do magazine covers and any number of lotion ads. I'd like to think that their awareness of that social value would make them more sympathetic, although they might also dismiss similar worries in men with an "It's about time." But I wonder, what do lusty, pervy women truly feel about this--not what they know they are supposed to feel, but what they truly do. And for my part, I must examine myself for any hypocrisies here.

Ah, well, aging sucks, is all. But at least I don't leak!

rm_rsp54 58F
531 posts
7/6/2006 9:01 am

Nice bodies are nice, but I'll take a fine mind...any day.

florallei 99F

7/6/2006 2:45 pm

Hello Connor,

..."don't leak!"...perhaps not yet...LOL...all kidding aside...to grow old gracefully is something each of us need to resolve...think of the wisdom we have gained thru the decades...to make the right decisions...not to mention if one has wealth then to grow old and get sick then die...does not seem logical...eternity is in our hearts and although science can't explain why we grow old and die since our body is really made to rejuvenate and heal but at a certain point it just stops...is a real mystery...
so much propaganda that praises the youth, the beautiful body and when you examine closely these ones are shallow, self serving and empty lives with no purpose to whom I do not envy...I would sooner take what I have and it isn't chop liver if you know what I mean...for being 90 years old I look pretty darn good (wink)...not a day over 36 LOL.
welcome to middle age...it is where true beauty lies and seniors are just around the corner...where the eternal prize will be...finally accepting of one's self...have a grand night

whineyblonde0r 53F
140 posts
7/7/2006 5:30 am

Connor, excellent subject and honest open thoughts on this blog. To let oneself age gracefully is far better than getting a bad die job and wearing a too tight of tshirt with a protruding gut. I have always thought sex appeal came from within and not always the outter package. I have found that as men loose some of the physical superiority in their bodies, their character traits strengthen, which gives them an advantage in the over 40 ladies groups who might be tired of the "pretty boy" and want mental stimulation as well as sexual. Think of it this way....a man with a small penis just makes sure he can give really good oral... making sure one has more to offer in exchange for the deficites you might have? compensatus per lactus

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