I kid because I care  

rm_connor696 60M
944 posts
7/27/2006 9:27 am

Last Read:
8/2/2006 1:03 pm

I kid because I care


I was going to launch into an oh-so-serious cri du coeur, but I've been doing too much of that lately, so instead I offer you some of my favorite musician jokes. (Warning: some punchlines require musical knowledge--though many don't. Also, excuse the sexism; it goes with the territory.)

Q: What do you call a guitarist whose girlfriend dumped him?
A: Homeless.

Q: How do you get a guitarist to leave your front door?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: We know what groupies are, but what do you call a guy who hangs out with rock 'n' roll bands?
A: A drummer.

Q: How can you tell when the drum riser is level?
A: The drummer drools out both sides of his mouth.

Q: How many chick singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Only one. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Q: What's the definition of a minor second?
A: Two soprano saxes playing in unison.

Q: What's the difference between a saxophonist and a lawn mover?
A: A lawnmower runs out of gas sometimes.

Q: What's the difference between onions and the bagpipes?
A: People cry when when you chop up an onion.

"A gentleman is one who can play the bagpipes--and doesn't" (Oscar Wilde)

Q: What do you call an english horn player who carries a pager?
A: An optimimst.

And my personal favorite--

Q: What's the difference between a bull and an orchestra?
A: The bull has the horns in front and the asshole in the back.

song2262 54F
643 posts
7/31/2006 3:46 pm

....thanks! *hug*


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