How to Be a Slut  

rm_connor696 60M
944 posts
10/14/2005 8:55 am

Last Read:
7/17/2006 8:53 am

How to Be a Slut


Oh, there must be fifty ways--or 3 billion.

I was reading a post by MissAnnThrope regarding a tendency she has noticed in chat rooms: calling people sluts.

One problem, of course, stems from the term's underlying sexism. Traditionally, at least, it has referred to women only, and not in a good way. (Although one meaning, no longer current, is "a saucy woman," a sense we might do well to reinvigorate.) So to use the term is already to perpetuate that tired story where men do as they will and women do as they can.

The other problem, of course, stems from the term's pejorative nature. But what accounts for this? You have a sexually active or even voracious woman. And that's ostensibly a bad thing. Well, perhaps to a sex- or woman-hating ascetic, but how does that work for the people who hang out in this site's chat rooms? I suppose it stems from guilt. Those who feel not entirely comfortable with their own sexuality look for those on whom they can look down: "At least I'm not that." And given the many and various sources by which one might be infected with sexual guilt, such a result is almost a given.

But as to the sluts themselves: God bless 'em, I say. The world would be a far less pleasant and enjoyable place without them--and not just because it would contain less sex.

What is a slut? A woman who has a lot of sex with different partners. (Actaully, I think men can be sluts, but that's another battle.) Why does she do this? Recall those 3 billion reasons. Most sex-based designations refer to behaviors. Even to the extent that they ostensibly refer to desires, they tend to revolve around a desire for a behavior, as in fetishes. But any given behavior can be generated by any number of desires (or desires plus beliefs, to be quasi-technical). No doubt some sluts suffer from insecurity and use sex as a means for self-validation. So what? As long as it works--as long as, that is, imputations of sluttiness or other sources of sexual guilt don't inculcate more insecurity than the sexual encounters assuage--then I say no harm, no foul. Whatever gets you through the night, to borrow a phrase.

Of course, some may use sex to manipulate. They may use it as a weapon. That's too bad, but the badness isn't inherently sexual. Manipulation is always an attempt to reduce the other's autonomy, to make him or her less a person. And that sucks no matter what means you employ in the process.

All of which brings me to Vonnie, the slut with a heart of gold. She was the first slut I met, and she remains the best--indeed, one of the best people I've ever known, period. I met her when I first went to college, in the late 1970s. I was a painfully shy boy who masked his social anxiety with a gift for glib speech. But Vonnie was this amazingly warm, genuine, and fundamentally decent girl. She flat-out loved people; they interested her, called to her in a way that I had never seen. A born nurturer, she was studying to be an elementary school teacher, and I've no doubt that she became some school system's most valued treasure.

She also liked sex. Not in addition to people but because of people, I think. And liking sex, she acquired a reputation. They called her a slut. The very same boys who happily slept with her hypocritically called her a slut. But I knew then and there that she was worth more as a human being than all the others combined. If that's a slut, I said, then I'll hang with them.

I never slept with her, although I did have a chance. But I got to be her friend, which was a blessing. At some point she got engaged to one of those manly men, a bearded, flannel-shirt-wearing guy who could fix a car and pour concrete, and they moved to Colorado. I lost touch after that, but my only real regret is that I never told her how much knowing her had meant to me, how much of an inspiration she had been.

So, Vonnie, here's to you. When I remember you, I remember your warmth and enthusiasm, the delight that played across your face whenever you ran into a friend on the street, and the charm of your unflagging kindness, which manged to be oh so sweet but never saccharine. I hope life has given back tenfold what you have given to it.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
10/14/2005 9:47 pm

I already know how to be a slut. Got any tips on how to be a whore???


MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
10/15/2005 8:53 am

You actually raise some good points. I watch cock teases in the rooms manipulate the entire room and then take off. I've never understood using sex as a weapon, as you're punishing yourself at the same time. Now, as far as your old friend Vonnie, I had a friend like that. However, no one ever dared call her a slut. We didn't even think she was a slut. She just liked sex a whole lot and she was so hot, even straight women were in awe of her. At 19, I wanted to be like her, but thanks to a repressive upbringing, I couldn't. But it occurs to me, it wasn't until years later I heard any woman referred to as a slut.

Now, as far as the room I was talking about goes, I don't think anyone has read what I wrote, but they've started to ignore me as I say I'm looking to unlock my sluttitude. Although, I did have one of the MPs making sure there was someone I didn't talk to in there this morning. Heh.

lianna, it's easy to be a whore. Just start charging.


soft_n_tempting 42F

12/3/2005 1:12 pm

IGNORING THIS BLOG FOREVER, PLS. DO ME A FAVOR AND BAN ME FROM YOUR BLOG, I CAN SEE WHY YOU DON'T GET LAID, YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WOMEN AT ALL? HERE YOU R DEFENDING A PERSON WHO SAYS WE R SLUTS AND THEN YOU INSULT US BY SAYING WE R SLUTTY FAT CHICKS, CAN YOU LIKE MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY?!? YOU PROBABLY CAN'T EVEN HOLD A DESCENT CONVERSATION WITH A WOMAN, SO DID A WOMAN WHO WAS BIG, DUMP YOU LIKE A HOT POTATO?!? SHE HAD GOOD SENSE TOO!?!HOPE I NEVER EVER MEET YOU!!!!!


Lusciousbabe800 42F

12/18/2005 6:54 pm

jUST A WOMAN WHO LOVES SEX BUT IS NOT A SLUT!


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