Just Return the Call/Message..... It  

rm_codismo1 50F
104 posts
7/16/2005 10:11 pm

Last Read:
7/11/2009 8:51 am

Just Return the Call/Message..... It

OK, pet peeve....... Please DO NOT tell me "I'll call you later", "look for me online, I'll be there", "leave a message and I'll get back to you"..... only to NOT MEAN a word of it!

I am an open and honest woman. I am an adult and I am way past playing these foolish games! To think you actually hit it of with someone only to be "avoided" after the "fact" is getting old and tired as am I.

It's not the first time, that is for sure.... and I am sure it is not the last! All I ask for from day 1 is honesty. Just be open and honest.... it's not like a few dates mean marriage you know????

What happened to actually finding a friend? Must be impossible these days......

misbhavinsatx 56F

7/16/2005 10:28 pm

Cop outs that all those words are.........People just do not have the balls to say" sorry your not for me" or to be honest so they just us a cop out think no ones feelings will get hurt that way. I would rather be told to my face that we did not connect or whatever then to be left wondering "WHAT HAPPENED"

1FYI69 62M

7/16/2005 10:36 pm

good luck!!

looking4fun68123 51F

7/16/2005 11:07 pm

Which is probably why there are so many men here and so few women????

babsygirl 55F

7/17/2005 5:53 am

it's not something men do...they dont have the nerve...so they avoid you...It's not an easy thing for me to tell a guy you are not for me, but I do it, I can't have them hanging on...and recently I did that and the man is hounding me...writing nasty things on my BLOGS and even coming into the chatroom and harrassing me to no end...all because I did not like his pics...I look for more than he is...and I could tell....but I was honest...now I gotta deal with his crap...

I've never hounded a man this way. It's so sad to see the lack of integrity among men...and sorry guys...they ruin it for the good ones that are here...

I feel your frustration....big time....good luck

blondbombshell2 60F
2 posts
7/26/2005 11:08 pm

hey there-- I understand what you are saying...if someone just doesn't want to be with you, they should say so... from a couple of experiences of waiting for the call that never happened (that was several years ago), I came up with a couple of my own "rules"

1. If I wasn't going to really be into a guy by the third meeting/date, I stopped seeing the guy. Something magical had to usually happen by meeting 2. It stopped me from being involved with ho-hum guys and it let me available to meet the people I needed to meet/be with.

2. If there was something that set off the "red lights/warning" instinct in me, I didn't see that person anymore. My instinct is usually right on the mark.

3. I spend most of the first date "listening" to the guy and not talking. I needed him to tell me about the last significant relationship that he was in. I need to tell if he has committmentphobia or is in love with an ex.

4. I spend quite a bit of time with mail with a guy before I meet him. I can get a real feel for someone from their mail.

5. Be picky!! You are not supposed to fall in love with everyone you date.. you should also not be having sex with everyone you date also..

I also expect the same type of courtesy from men-- if you are just seeing me waiting for something better to come along, please don't do that-- we all have fragile feelings and hearts and we don't deserve to be treated this way..

best wishes

xtrmcowboy 43M

7/27/2005 12:42 am

Honesty is the best course. If you are not intrested, then say so! And ladies, women do it as much if not more than men! I agree that most guys don't have the balls to tell you that it doesn't click for them, but I think it is because of some lost sense of chivalry. They really don't want to hurt your feelings, they just don't know how to speak thier mind.

FreeWolf83 60M
2 posts
7/28/2005 5:52 pm

OK...I have to agree with babsygirl on one key point..it does make it tough on those of us who Are real men and deal with life in a straight-forward manner. I just recently had to tell a woman that the connection just wasn't there. It's not fun, but it avoids confusion and the deeper pain later. I have to disagree with xtrmcowboy... this is NOT any type of chivalry. As long as we're on the subject...what's your opinion of people who don't bother acknowledging winks and emails?

bondra76 40M

10/12/2005 6:11 pm

haha...this is only the second post I have seen in your blog (I've started blog hunting tonight as a past time to the drama and BS of the chat rooms) and I think you're lookin for the wrong guys. You should send me a message sometime! I have a feeling I'm looking for the same things as you are. And it helps to actually read these and get to know a person. Hell a blog can tell you a lot more about someone than a profile can (which I'm learning quickly!). As for your post though, like I said I totally agree - finding mutual "respect" for people on a swingers site is probably pretty difficult.

rm_mustard44 73M
2 posts
9/15/2006 4:23 pm

I agree with this whole heartedly, what ever happened to honesty in a relationship, or non-relationship. Sometimes things just don't seem quite right, so say so and get on with your life.

rm_MileHiJimi 53M
6 posts
8/4/2008 6:13 pm

Preachin to the choir here.....lol

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