So why am I still not crying?  

rm_cockmerollme 45F
1607 posts
3/14/2006 1:24 am

Last Read:
4/6/2006 4:54 pm

So why am I still not crying?

OK, so that guy? That I've been going crazy over at work? Yeah, well, I had to ask, right??

I just had to know.

I had to find out.

Enough mysteries in my life!!!!!

Oh, yeah, I could have pretended to not notice that he hadn't put a hand on me,

or ever complimented me on my fishnets,

or 3 inch clear heels....

Yeah, apparently, for him, there is no chemistry on his part.

How could I have been so wrong?

I thought we did have it..I would have bet a kidney that we would end up together somehow..

But, it turns out that boat needs far more work upon further inspection.

Work I don't think I can do.
But you know the pathetic girl in me wants to still hang on, and try to make a relationship out of what will never, ever be.

Oh, I could make along, truthful list on why I'm better off not hitching my wagon to his star, but the bottom line is, if he said he wanted me, I'd sign up.
Even with his issues and all.
Even though he's from...Texas!

And do all the fun things I've always wanted to do when I found someone to love and who would love me back. All of them. I have that list, you know?

The one I've had in my head for years.

Maybe I should just put it aside.
Maybe I really need to start looking for a serious partner.

Blank. That sounds so 11th grade.

Why don't I just write his name all over my notebook while I'm at it.


I was so sure I'd be done with dating and sleeping around.

How wonderful it would be to have penis on demand ( much like movies!)

But, I haven't really cried yet. And I always cry.

I still love him, and I don't think he will understand why I won't be spending as much time with him, but, for real tears yet. Yet.

What? Am I supposed to maintain the friendship after I've professed love and adoration?

Come f ing on!!

Where's the hardship for him?

Why do I always have to re align my feelings for guys I love, who don't love me back?

I promise to write something funny soon.

And I guess I can start sleeping around again, since my steady lay and I have ended our.............Whatever you call it....


rm_Trypsoul3 37M

3/14/2006 2:00 am

Wow. you are hard on yourself, (so 11th grade, etc.) and I say that only because you sound so real. Stay real, and realize you're not alone...and I"m just saying this to spoonfeed you a line of bull. You sound like a female version of what i"m going through... you wanna' stop screwing around, and it seems like that's all the world around you wants to do. Keep the faith, in nothing else, in yourself. I haven't seen your pic or your profile, but from your words, my sweet friend, I say you're beautiful.

wildoats19622 54M
3483 posts
3/14/2006 2:12 am

Have a hug from me. We still love you in blogland.

You will laugh again.


Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


3/14/2006 2:24 am

or 3 inch clear heels....

How tall are you wearing those?

So this was still that Texas guy? I thought you had left him in the dust long ago.

Why do I always have to re align my feelings for guys I love, who don't love me back?

Because if you don't you'll continue to bash your head against the wall to no avail concerning them.

Where's the hardship for him?

There is a hardship on the other end. I never knew that until girls started blatantly liking me and, for me at least, it's at least as stressful to reject someone as it is to be rejected. Neither is a very fun situation. For me at least.

Now I find myself in an odd situation in which I've got more women than I've ever had before that I sort of like and who ssem to sort of like me but there is not one that I fell urgently drawn towards.

And if I did and did not feel the same thing coming from her I'd fear scaring her off with that intensity. I got scared off by one that had that intensity somewhat recently. Beleive me it was some hardship! It can be too much sometimes when it comes out of nowhere and you've not even really met the person.

The "courtship dynamic" (if you could call it that) of this online stuff is different than the "in the flesh" stuff. Much different. But what I thought was good about it is seeming to now get a little blase'.

Maybe what becomes too safe and too predicatable becomes "not real" or at least not real enough.

But considering this I guess you have been speaking of an actual in the flesh "courtship" or lack thereof with "Tex" there.

And where's them holiday party pics you once threatened to display here anyway?

If I was local I'd ask you on a cookie dough and batting cages date even though I'm not such a fan of either of those. But I do need to actually get out in the real world and try new things. Like something you thought the "beep beep" sound of a backing fork loader might accompany well


elysianpleasure 47M

3/14/2006 5:19 pm

Sorry it didn't work out for you... he obviously has mental health issues

jlooking540 45M

3/15/2006 2:35 pm

I can totally see you making a great girlfriend. Sweet, funny, sexy, all in one package. Wow!

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