My heart hurts.  

rm_cockmerollme 45F
1607 posts
2/9/2006 8:57 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My heart hurts.

I'm crushed.

Spend 10 hours with HIM, and he never considered US.

He never considered an "US"

At all.

Oh, I'm so sad.

Guys who fuck me don't want to be with me

Guys who want to hang with me, don't want to love me.

I'm useless.

I'm tail spinning, and I can feel it, but

I can't stop it.

I need a break.


jlooking540 45M

2/10/2006 7:43 am

oh baby,

I'm so sorry.

You're a great person. Someday you're find someone who wants to be with you, in bed and in life. You deserve that.

rm_buzzbay99 51M

2/10/2006 7:57 am

Man, and I came in here looking for a laugh from my favorite whimsical blogger. I knew that freakin' Matthew Sweet post was going to lead to no good.

Seriously, CMRM, there's nothing wrong with you that isn't wrong with the rest of us. I know, I know, boys shouldn't even be allowed in here to comment on this right now, and I'm setting myself up for a flaming ass whipping from the ladies who will descend on this thread to comfort you by telling you that all men, me included, are assholes. Let's just stipulate that now, ok? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the defense will not contest that men have their problems dealing with interpersonal relationships.


But the desperation of your post made me consider the first two noble truths of the Buddha. #1 Existence is suffering. #2 The cause of suffering is desire. Sounds pretty bleak, right? But encapsulated in this is a greater reality. Our suffering and our desire are largely created by the illusion of separateness. When people talk about feeling a special "connection" to someone, in truth what they have done is lowered the barriers -- turned off the filters, so to speak -- that keep us from seeing our energetic, spiritual connection to everyone and everything.

"Guys who fuck me don't want to be with me" -- Not true, CMRM. Sex and intimacy are a powerful aspect of the life force that drives and binds us all. But it's just one aspect. That's why people that profess to desire casual, NSA sex so often end up in the throes of sadness and heartache. God knows, it has happened to me. We are touching a live wire without being grounded. Rare is the person who can tolerate the energy of intimacy and open themselves to real bodily pleasure without exposing their heart. Go back and examine the roots of the disconnect you now feel with you and your partner. As Marianne Williamson wrote, "Anything that isn't love is fear." That goes for sadness, anger, jealousy, envy, anything. And it goes for you AND him. What are you afraid of? What is he afraid of? Figure that out and you'll be closer to grounding the energy you released when you came together physically.

"Guys who want to hang with me, don't want to love me" -- Also untrue. Perhaps you need to broaden your definition of love. The world is awash in it and yet most people will go to their graves claiming they never felt it. Love is the one great gift we get from our spiritual source and it's a power we can't turn off, though many of us do seem to be taking extraordinary steps to ignore it. Yes, that includes me. Guys who want to hang with you, I suspect, are expressing the purest form of love. We all have dozens of people around us whom we've never been intimate with and yet we love them and they love us. Don't let your fear of a lack of intimacy with your male friends distract or discourage you from relishing the love you do share. When the chips are down, I'd rather have a loving friend than a fuck buddy to help me.

OK, enough of this. All the women can chime in now and tell the world what a fruitcake I am. My advice is to put on your fuzzy slippers and go eat some Ben & Jerry's "One Sweet Whirled" until the tail spin stops. Then spend some quiet time reflecting on all the good around you and the sense of love and connection you share with the folks in your world. Then come back and write something funny, because I'm counting on you.

Prayers and warm healing thoughts at ya.

timberwolf6972 44M

2/10/2006 2:34 pm

Hi Cock, thats really sad sweetie, not all men are like that though. Check this post out that I wrote and maybe it will put a smile on your face. [post 231204] {=}


2/10/2006 5:50 pm

Hey it's usually really nobodys fault in these things it's just the way they go and is part of the territory. Any sort of taking of a "war of the sexes" type of one side or the other in these things is (usually) completely missing the point.

All relationships , even the short and brief ones, serve as powerful tools for our own personal growth both in their fun parts and in their not so fun parts. When you are in the midst of one of the not so fun parts it can be a bit challenging to see them in this light.

Despite that difficulty in seeing them as overall being benefical while still straight in the path of the shit hitting the fan they do indeed function in this way....eventually.

So keep the faith that it is really all good and that you'll come out it a better person.

I reread what I tried to convey to you concerning relationship dymanics in their early formatation and you were right. I got uptight and nervous reading it too.

In your own story of unshared hopes and dreams here just ask yourself a few questions about your own expectations about this situation. And don't be critical of yourself just be exploratory and try to step away from the ideas you get from thinking of this and try to sse them as if they were someone elses. For the sake of perspective.

And no need to report back what might happen if you try that.That's just a tool for you to try to get a better view on your own role in creating this situation. And how to then maybe approach another similar situation like this better the next time you encounter, create, experiecne it again once more.

Also try to avoid too mucgh self blame for it if you have that tendency and remember to always temper self blame with an equal dose of self forgiveness or your self esteem can end up straight in the crapper. And that's not ever a good thing.

Also don't think you are alone in this, These types of thing are right now happening all over the place here at A-FF and elsewere. They might even be more the norm than the kind that really end up developing into something.

Corny and cliche' as it may sound I really will be mentally broadcasting "good stuff" your direction.

PS - And I was there rootin' for ya on this one, I really was


pickthisguy11 36M
79 posts
2/10/2006 6:20 pm

Sorry it didn't work out. But don't get down, it has been my experience that you usually find what you are looking for when you least expect it.

If I have a bad day, I read your blog for a good laugh. Maybe I'll send you a picture of my cock so you can have a good laugh.

rm_cockmerollme 45F
1223 posts
2/22/2006 8:42 am

Please. Can't get enough pics of COCK....hehehe


Become a member to create a blog