4:06AM  

rm_cnyguy13 38M
0 posts
2/25/2006 10:43 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

4:06AM


True love... a notion conceived by the birth of life? Or a burden risen from a fear of self. I do not understand the overwhelming desire to find it. But as I lay in a place not quite asleep yet not fully aware I see it is something greater. An intangible presence waiting in silence. We strive to find this one thing more than anything else the world has yet to offer. Stories are written of happy ever afters. Beautiful tails are told of true love. Ones who have found it.. the loss it can carry. But were these stories conceived by men in experience or in the wake of a glorious dream.
I am still young to this world, but I have yet too see it take physical form. I look in my heart and find hope of true love. But it grows weaker with each day passing, adding to my sense of fear that it will always evade me. How is it that we can feel the pain of it's absence without ever knowing it's true warmth. I have so much to give I fear that it may be too much. That I will not have the control to stop it from consuming me into a river of dissolution. But do I fight the current or let myself go in it's awesome power? So many questions and no one to answer them. Is time the only answer? Or are they written in a book somewhere buried by age in a forgotten place.
When we are young we are taught of love, and the fortitude of it. The love of a mother to her child. Of siblings that don't quite talk all the time. But who is to teach us of true love? About the love that two people share when they become part of one another. Why do we forget ourselves in the search? Become someone else to try and find this, only to crumble at it's flawless truth. I hide my pain and emptiness from the world. I put on the smile I keep in a box by my bed while I sleep at night. Perhaps this is the mask that binds my will. Should I wear my burden on my sleeve and let life sort my destiny? A piece of me dies with each days passing. It burns with the horizon upon each sunset. How long until there is nothing left of me? How long until I do not wake with the morning? Without knowing true love I am afraid to sleep in fear of this...

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