Reflecting  

rm_cjcj9 41F
745 posts
8/31/2006 3:17 pm

Last Read:
9/1/2006 2:44 pm

Reflecting


I am so puzzled by my reaction to the girlfriend of my first crush [Crush]. I had a very long and boring drive today, so it began swirling through my head. What happened in those initial seconds that caused such a spiteful reaction. Generally, upon meeting someone, I do form initial impressions but they aren't usually so strong as hate.

So, as I am driving I begin to go back to when I was friends with his sister. Couldn't think of anything from that.

Next, I forward to when we dated. Nothing too special about that, either.

I come to the meeting of the girlfriend and I think it may have something to do with the fact that he has never gotten over girls like me.

Maybe seeing her and the feeling I got from her and the knowledge of his past made me see me 15 years ago and all my downfalls and judgements.

Or, maybe I have had a long day and the boredom was too much for me to take on my roadtrip today.

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/49F
9753 posts
8/31/2006 5:28 pm

OR maybe you still have that crush!

Purry {=}

Purry


rm_talktame44 56M
63 posts
8/31/2006 5:56 pm

ok......lemme take a crack at this thing......offer my wisdom or ravings ...whichever the case my be.

I don't think we ever really get that first person outta our minds. We tend to elevate them to standards impossible to meet. Perhaps in him you see some things about yourself you'd like to change. A perfect guy in your mind.....and for whatever reasons.....It didn't work for you and he. Guilt that you couldn't give what you thought this "perfect" guy deserved? Perhaps.....Or maybe in his gf you saw some of yourself.....and what you perceive to be the inevitable hurt this man will feel. Thing is.....we tend to extrapolate an outcome based on who we are. You don't really know this woman.....who or what she's like. The only frame of reference is yourself. and if you couldn't give him what you thought he deserved....how could someone else?
Thing is....this guy has grown. Give him credit....some men do learn from mistakes.....and that guy you knew 15 years ago....isn't the same one you saw the other day.
Either way.....you can't protect him......even if ya want to.
The bigger question is the one you've been wrestling with.....why does it bother you so? That I can't say......that'd take much more in depth analysis.......I'll reserve a spot on the couch for ya....

Good to see ya round again CJ......


rm_aranayd 46M
2014 posts
8/31/2006 10:19 pm

Jealousy is my instinct for why your reaction was so strong. Ask yourself if there's ANYTHING you want to know about this man which would require his being single. It that the kind of thing you're looking to do with him or not. Once you settle that in your own mind, your reaction might make more sense.


ifeelnlookyoung 50F

9/1/2006 1:18 am

What about "unfinished business" between you and your first crush... have you thought of it?


ifeelnlookyoung 50F

9/1/2006 1:21 am

Oh, sorry, I forgot about the other thing that occured to me... just wondering if you may still have unsettled personal issues... but you could be right when you said "Or, maybe I have had a long day and the boredom was too much for me to take on my roadtrip today." Have a nice day! Things will fall in place (and they may already have! )


MillsShipsGayly 51M

9/1/2006 7:09 am

{insert witty quote here}

sometimes I sit and think; sometimes I just sit.

Sorry about the boredom thing .. can I help?


look4dreams 56M
6 posts
9/1/2006 9:26 am

well I would say that if his girlfriend knew about your thing in the past, there would be feelings of insecurity on her part. i am not saying this is justified but that they could be there. unfortunatly jealousy as an emotion has no basis in rationality, which sucks...My suggestion is to talk to him about it if you casn be bothered.


buddhamike 105M
7006 posts
9/1/2006 10:55 am

It's really understandable. You split up with him, and now he's with her. So subconsciously your brain is saying, why her and not me? This hurts. Even more since your brain is thinking, "and she is a lot like me!" (as you say, "he has never gotten over girls like me") This could be the basis of your reaction, though I admit it is only a partial description of the complex reaction you had. I just think that a more in depth look at it is beyond the scope of this blog post. (don't want to bore your readers, do we)


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