Friends and Lovers  

rm_cele2flowers 42F
118 posts
6/15/2005 8:33 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Friends and Lovers

Recently I've become more enlightened about one of my lovers. I have a few, a couple I see once in a blue moon for a romp for an evening and others I see more on a regular basis. This one is one that is a blue moon one. My question for everyone is how they handle their lovers, is it just a conquest? Or do you need to be friends to enjoy the sex? How does everyone else work?

So far, for me, being friends with my lovers has worked out wonderfully for me. I enjoy the companionship, the conversation, and especially the sex. I'm a little surprised at myself to finally come to a full realization that I was a conqest for this man. For 2 weeks he "courted" me online, flirting, talking, even called once or twice before we finally met. The sex was incredible! I could hardly wait to see him again. I felt a very good bond of friendship between us. Please note that "love" is not being put in here anywhere!! We met again a month and a half later and had another great evening together. Then slowly, but surely, due to Christmas and other holidays, conversation started to trickle off. The problem is, it never really came back! We'd talk occasionally, but it wasn't the same. No flirting, no constant chit chat or just enjoying friendly conversation. I know that he chases after other women. This is no big problem for me, I can share as long as I still get a piece of the cake! Let me throw in the fact that he lives in Canada and I'm in the corn fields of Iowa, so it's not like I can jump in my car and go to see him on a whim.

So anyway, the point of my post is that I've concluded that I was just a conquest and have become just another notch in his bedpost. How does everyone else look at their lovers? Are they just a conquest for you? Maybe just a living sextoy for the night? Or do you allow a friendship to grow while you're lovers? For me, sex with a friend has made for the most satisfying sex (outside of love) than any other.

rm_reif69 47M

7/21/2005 10:09 am

I will admit to having indulged in a few eroctic expience with a stranger before. Yes it does give your sexual moral a boost but afterwords it leaves you longing for the intimacy that every person disires and needs. I think at least conecting at a friendship level produces a more intense expierence even if there is no relatioship beyond that. The key to having a lover is honesty, respect and understanding that it isn't just sex. It is living out your dream fantasies with someone with equal desires. Yes I admit to wanting sex as much as any man here but a mature person should look at it as having a want for sex or staisfying a deeper need. Everyone has the quest with in them but the path you follow will be more gratifying with your understanding of where you are headed with out regrets. These are just my thoughts and if anyone disagrees with me please reply.

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