Stick a fork in me, I'm retired... well maybe not but I should be.  

rm_cant_be_true 38M
431 posts
2/28/2006 3:05 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Stick a fork in me, I'm retired... well maybe not but I should be.

So while I was at work today I started to think about retirement... Hey they say it's never too early to start thinking about it right? Well I decided that I don't want to be one of those people who thinks about things when they can just go ahead and do them. So basically I've decided that it's about time that I retire. Now this isn't just a quick decision that I came up with though, I put some serious thoughts into it and came up with a bunch of good reasons why I should retire...

1. I look pretty dam good in a cardigan sweater. I don't know why but I feel as if it's one of those fashion things that I can really pull off.

2. Some might think I'm too young to retire, but I'm the oldest I've ever been and it doesn't look like I'm getting any younger any time soon. Besides why wait until I'm too old to enjoy my retirement. I mean I can always come out of retirement when I'm 65 and work a full-time job. In fact if allowed to retire I promise to work a full-time job when I'm 65 (they can try to dig up my corpse and put me to work, with the amount of free time retirement gives me I'm bound to party myself to death).

3. I want Social Security. I know that they have some age requirements for that, but rules aren't meant for people who can't function without them, so I'm sure they will bend them for me. Besides by the time I'm old enough to collect it won't be there anymore, or even worse, just to tease me it will be there but they will have a SS deduction from my SS check equal to the amount of the check just to piss me off.

4. I love Florida. I don't care if they can't vote there, what does it matter, the weather is always great.

5. I drive around with my blinker on sometimes. And I have a theory that old people do this purposely so that they can hear the ticking sound and gage whether or not their ticker is working fast enough, but that's a different post. But anyways I do it just to see the reaction of other people. Whatever the purpose is, I still do it.

6. I've been to a couple retirement homes and let me tell you it's all ancient people, and a couple of them have great-grand kids feeding them pudding. I think they could really use someone like me with my spunk to wake them up.

7. I've noticed that when I get together with some of my college friends we have already started to spend the nite just telling stories about the good old days (we aren't going uphills both ways in 5 feet of snow yet, but I feel that storms a brewing). And we're all starting to forget major points in the stories, luckily when there's enough of us we can put together the pieces we are missing. But if some of them start kicking the bucket, these stories are doomed... that is unless I retire now and tell them so often that other people will remember them.

8. I like the discounts. Have you seen the free-bies that the senor center gives out. I haven't seen government cheese like that since I was in the ghetto.

So that's why I should retire. Now can you give me money I can retire. Thank you.

singleagain53578 47F

2/28/2006 3:28 pm

Hehehehee... thats a great blog. Hmmm maybe I should retire too. Florida sounds great. AND I am a great BINGO player as well. AND heck- old people get all the best parking spots.

Hmmmm BUT if I Don't retire- you can come live at my Nursing Home and I can take care of ya and darn- wouldn't you be the most popular elgible man on the lane. Heck- you wouldn't need AdultFriendFinder when you have all those older ladies pining after ya!!!


NSAAddict 42F

2/28/2006 3:35 pm

LOL CBT, if only it were that easy Happy Retirement to you!

champagnechaser 41F
1639 posts
2/28/2006 7:51 pm

You crack me up!

I always thought that they had it all backwards in saying youth is wasted on the young. Retirement is wasted on the old.

CBT for president!

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