Acceptance Speaches.  

rm_cant_be_true 38M
431 posts
3/3/2006 1:50 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Acceptance Speaches.

Have you ever made a post and then it sparked an idea for another post, so you did the unheard of double-post-up slam dunk-a-rooney? I have no idea what that is, but if you do please explain to me what just went on in my head.

So I just made a post about helping oscar nominees and it got me thinking that I should be prepared to make an acceptance speach at anytime, because maybe I won't be expecting something to actually happen... but I was a cub scout once (never became a boy scout, I was too evil for it) so I should be prepared, you know, just in case. So here are a phew acceptance speaches that I'm working on just-in-case I happen to receive the awards...

1. A police officer pulls me over for speeding and gives me a ticket: "I would just like to take this opportunity to thank that asshole this morning who cut me off and put me in a bad mood all day long. If it wasn't for that person I would probably be in a good mood and not be speeding off to the liquor store to drown my sorrows. I'd also like to thank you officer for serving and protecting me, if it wasn't for you giving me this ticket I would have more money and be able to drown my sorrows. Now I can go give hand jobs for a quarter so I can hopefully buy a beer. Thank you very much."

2. A(Many) beautiful woman(s) wants to have a sexual relationship with me: "I'd just like to start off by thanking puberty. We had a rough relationship at first, but over time I began to understand you, and you started to let me speak without cracking my voice. I'd also like to thank my nudie magazines for allowing me to see boobies when real ones weren't available. Lastly I would like to thank you Miss... umm... I'm sorry, it seems that I have forgotten your name, don't stop to tell me now... just keep doing what you are doing and I'll just call you Miss... anyways I would like to thank you Miss for doing exactly what you are doing right now." (then the music starts) "Ohh wait, I almost forgot you Peeping Tom, for keeping an eye out for me... now that I have a witness everyone will have to believe me no matter what she says."

3. Fellow blogger tell me that I can't possibly be as creepy and hideous as I make myself out to be: "Thank you for not taking everything I say too seriously. And for those of you who do think I'm creepy and hideouse... hey, what do you want from me, at least I didn't lie"

MWWwantsmore 51F

3/3/2006 4:46 pm

LOL too funny I like # 1

singleagain53578 46F

3/3/2006 7:18 pm

yeah #1 was a hoot!!! I would definately give you an encore!!!


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