|Blogs > rm_cam_2_am > One Step Over The Line|
Straight, Gay, or Buddhist?
Straight, Gay, or Buddhist?
An old friend hosted a New Year's Eve dinner in my honor. That evening as I returned the favor by giving her a massage, she talked about her ex-girlfriend.
"I want the sex", she said, "but I know Julia can't do it without wanting to get emotionally involved. The last time she visited I had to physically push her outside the door - that's how bad I wanted her."
She went on to explain how making love to a woman was so different - the tender kisses, the waves of orgasm, the lengthened sessions that endured hours. She remarked off-handedly, "I haven't had sex with a man in over two years."
I knew - and she would remember had she thought about it - that I was the last man, the result of a drunken post-party fling (and something that shocked her daughters - I was almost thirty years younger than their mother). But I said nothing, and continued my rubbing as she rambled and we chatted with easy comfort about memories and thoughts and our lives.
Finally I was finished with her whole body. She lay on her back, completely naked, and nipples erect. I slowly started caressing her, avoiding her most erogenous zones. Finally I gave into temptation and gently flicked her nipples, and her whole body shuddered. She waited a moment, and then stopped me gently saying, "I don't want to go there".
So we casually switched places - she dressed as I got naked and slipped under the covers of the bed to sleep. She puttered around the room for a moment, but instead of going to her room, she came and lay on me - the covers separating us as we snuggled for a moment. I started falling asleep again, and with a start I realized she was nuzzling me.
I let her do this for a bit, and then we started kissing gently, and then more intently. She slowed down, pulling away to sniff and lick at my chest hair, my arm pits, and slowly exploring my nipples (but not quite biting them - one of the most acutely painful ways of torturing me).
Finally I turned her over to take some initiative, but she said - again, without recrimination - "just kissing only". I was going crazy, but I respected her wishes, and forced myself to calm down. As I did, though, my kisses became more gentle, and now she began to move and buckle underneath me. Finally, she reached a decision:
"Well, I guess I had better go get a condom". I laughed at the irony, and we started kissing again as she reached down and helped me pull off my underwear. Once the condom was in place, I was determined to reciprocate the teasing, but she immediately and forcefully pulled me inside of her - and held fast. I ended up bringing her to orgasm twice just by pressing my pubic bone into her clit as hard as a I could, my body rocking on top of her, and my flicking kisses making her delirious.
Make no mistake - throughout this entire time we were incredibly casual - no desperate emotional intensity, no whispered words of caring or dirty talk. This was nothing more than two loving friends exploring each other.
Today we chatted about the whole experience, and Chris laughed and commented how wonderful it was to have sex with a man again:
"So many things are different - the hair, the roughness of the hands - the penis!".
And then she made a wise observation, something mirrored in every mystical tradition in the world:
"The line between gay and straight is only in our mind".
As I contemplate the recent rejection I've received for opening listing myself on AdultFriendFinder as bisexual, I'm comforted by the experience with a kindred spirit who recognizes that the duality of attraction is, like everything else in the Universe, an illusion we maintain ourselves.
Now if only I could convince AdultFriendFinder to add "Buddhist" as a valid choice for sexual preference.
2/13/2006 3:17 pm
Very nice blog post.|