Sadness  

rm_boxergirl17 45F
35 posts
10/28/2005 5:36 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Sadness

This is the first time I've ever done a blog before and not really sure what your supposed to write, so I'm going to write about the recent loss of my ex-boyfriend.

I found out in an offline message on that my ex Nate had passed away when he was thrown from his ATV and killed in the desert outside Las Vegas.

Nate and I haven't talked in quite some time and our last conversation bordered on hatred.

Our breakup wasn't the most amicable of breakups and a lot of things got said that I regret. I never got to say goodbye to him.

Until I spoke with his sister and found out what happened and how he had died it didn't hit me that he was really gone.

I used to laugh and joke and say Nate went to Iraq on a private contract to handle a bomb dog and I hoped he would step on one of the bombs they found. Nate survived 16 months in Iraq to come home and pass away in an accident 6 weeks later and within a week of his 31st birthday.

I'm taking this a lot harder then I thought I would, Nate and I haven't talked in 3 years and since I found out yesterday I'm quick to cry about it.

I remember his smile, his laugh, how ungodly sexy he looked giving me a strip tease on the way to the shower and if we couldn't be together he'd always cam me a video of him doing that little dance in the shower.

The man was so incredibly sexy it wasn't even funny.

Even though we weren't together and we had both moved on with other people and our lives, thoughts of him would cross my mind every once in a while and I honestly didn't think finding out he had died would make me cry but as I sit here and write this, tears are dripping down my face.

How do you tell someone your sorry when it's already too late. My Brown eyed bitch boy and yes that was my nickname for him. The only man I've ever been with that didn't have blue eyes.

I'll miss you Nate.


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