|Blogs > rm_billb_69_98 > What's it all about???|
Ok so I have no degrees in psychology and I haven't done years of "studying" men but I am a man. All my comments are from 1...Knowing me, 2...My conversations with other men all through my life. Not every thing I say will be true and accurate for all men but I feel confident that it will be true for the majority of men. So if the men that read this do not see themselves the way I express maybe you aren't OR maybe you are but don't see it that way because you "are" as I describe.
Most men are visually and audibly excited. Show most men a picture of just about any body part of a woman and the chemicals start to flow. Talk about just about any body part of a woman and the chemicals start to flow. Most men love pornography. Reading or watching. A lot of women hear the "word" pornography and they are turned off and a "dirty movie" is just that, a dirty, nasty thing. Let a man catch a glimpse of a porno film and he'll stop dead in his tracks and watch for as long as he is able. Why are us men such voyeurs? Is it our insecurity that we want to make sure we are as good or better than the men in the movie? Do we use it as a learning experience? Or does it just touch some place in our brain that heightens our senses? I think it is the later. Way back in the beginning men had to rely on there vision more so than women. We had to develop our visual sense for protection and to be able to supply food. We had to communicate to other men where and how to find food. We had to develop our mental pictures so we could find our way around. Most men feel a need for sex more than most women. That was set into us through nature. If a woman is not available a man will masturbate. To have an exciting time we "need" to get a picture in our head.
Say a word and a woman feels the feeling, say a word and a man pictures it. Most women hate the words men use for the female genitalia. Cunt, pussy, crack. They sound harsh as you read them or hear them now but to most men in a conversation they are a turn on. They signify the place where heaven is. Sexual heaven. The center of the sexual universe. We don't use these words disrespectfully. Why do we use these words? Mostly from lack of quick, nice sounding words. Vagina is a quick and nice sounding word but it also sounds too clinical. Rarely have I ever heard a woman refer to a man's penis as a penis. It seems their word of choice is "cock". What other words could we use that bring a picture of not just an exact place but also every thing which that place entails. Hear men use the words cunt or pussy in their conversation and rarely is it a conversation specifically about that place. The words conjure up pictures and feelings of the whole sexual act. Dirty talk during sex with a woman isn't meant to be demeaning or disrespectful. It's just a way for a man to get his mind deeper into what is taking place. I do know that some women get turned on themselves by dirty talk.
Why have I written about this? Because sex is a mutual participation activity. Both men and women have to understand where we both are coming from. Truly great sex comes when both partners are where they need to be in their own mind and body. We can do this with compromise and understanding. We all have to be more observant and attentive to what affects our partners in good and bad ways. Women, please don't always take offense by what a man says sexually when you play. Try to think how excited this man is. Isn't that what the act of having sex is about...being the most excited your mind and body can get? Men you don't always have to express these things out loud. Talk to your lady ahead of time. Find out her feelings. You can say and think any thing "in" your head.
When you commit to participating in the sexual act you both should be ready to commit your entire minds and bodies to it. Why play part way. It's meant to be mutually enjoyed. Understand ahead of time just exactly what turns each of you on and off. Don't say or do something that will mislead and cause problems in the future. There is sooooooo much to sex. Explore. Maybe you just "think" you need to have some thing or just "think" you aren't turned on by some thing. Understand the reason behind these things and you will have a much more exciting time.
And still...uhhh men????