Theory on women in their 30s  

rm_biandalive 43F
147 posts
2/22/2006 8:18 pm

Last Read:
12/12/2007 4:39 pm

Theory on women in their 30s

I have this theory about women in their 30s.

No one really cares about them. You can go to any book store and find self-help books for everything but the struggles of women in their 30s. I swear I'm going to write one. I'm not sure that a whole lot of people will agree with my ideas about therapy. Though, if your reading this you may be OK with it.

In your teens you are wrestling with who you think you should be and who your parents, and other people of influence, think you should be. They are often not the same.

You get through that and you're in those loose, free 20s. Except you don't realize how loose and free you are because your broke, your car won't start, and you have an 8 o'clock class. Plus you think you are in love but, really, you have no idea what that really means. But it feels right, so you go with it. Stats show we're only right about that 50% of the time.

So you get married and start your family. All while establishing your career. Because, after all, you didn't pay all that money for college just to waste it. So you pop out the kids, buy the house, and like your job. Not to mention you're pretty good at it.

Life is grand, right? Nope. You are no longer loose and free. You finally have some money to spend and you're buying diapers and paying for day care. The stress in that career you wanted so bad crushes your senses some days. Your husband has a career too and you're lucky to be awake, alone, with him for more than 15 minutes. Your lovely children are beautiful but you always thought that parenting would be like the babysitting gigs you had growing up. Feed them, snuggle, read books, play games, etc. But the reality is that by the time you pick them up from day care, make dinner, and bath them you are too exhausted to do anything remotely fun with them.

So here you are in your 30s with everything you always thought you wanted and you feel like you have lost all sense of yourself. The people that should know you best only know you as "Mom" and "Hun." There is sense of grieving for yourself, but you're still alive.

I decided to find myself again. I still have to live with some of the guilt I have when I get a babysitter so I can get out and play, but now I get over it. I sometimes struggle with the guilt of leaving the kids with my husband so I can go out and be free. He understands what I need to do, and why, but I still feel guilty. I need to feel whole in order to be the best I can be in all the other facets of my life.

I'm only in the beginning of my 30s. Hopefully it will get better. I will still have time to write that self-help book I couldn't find when I needed it. Until then I will continue to find time for me. I am not dead, and refuse to grieve any longer for me.

mysteriesofme 44F

2/23/2006 6:08 am

Nope NaeniaSea - I have three teenagers - and I looked forward to it -

and.. Red - attagirl!


3/16/2006 4:36 am

Oh my gosh! I may not be in my mid 30s yet..or the early ones either but honey did that hit home! Altho the age is different, the feeling is the same and i can't feel so guilty either...I had to learn to accept something like my husband offering to take the kids out for a couple hours just to give me 2 hours of peace...he's a wonderful man that way! I just have to remember that he needs his time too.

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