|Blogs > rm_betabonnie > The Bonnie Life|
I am often asked this question and ponder on it frequently. Why would a woman want to be spanked? What is it that I get out of it? Is this a roleplay thing or for punishment?
The answer to why I like being spanked lies not in the spanking alone but in the build-up to the spanking as well. There is a certain rhythm and nuance to knowing that a spanking is coming and not being in control of the situation. It is a slowly building tension where I give up a part of myself and my control to someone else.
Like a fast no-holds-barred screw, a spanking with no foreplay can often be a letdown and leave me unsatisfied. To me there are distinct phases to a proper and thorough spanking experience. The phases are this: realization, preparation, display and play, spanking, and the denouement.
Realization is when I am informed of a coming punishment. It doesn't even need to be overtly stated, just the thought put in my head that I've done something to displease you and will be receiving a punishment. The realization phase is often overlapping and coinciding with the preparation and the display and play phases. It is an important phase, and one often overlooked in spanking play that tends to be overly spontaneous rather than carefully planned.
The preparation phase is when I am told what to do to prepare for the coming spanking. This can be anything from the clothing I am told to wear or not wear to a meeting (within certain limits), the way I am to shave or prepare my body, or even simply which implement to fetch for you.
The display and play phase is probably one of my favorites. This is the time when you would have me remain in or take a position to display for you. The longer I am asked to stay in position, the higher the anticipation mounts and the more enjoyment I receive from the spanking itself. While obviously it would not be enjoyable to be left in an uncomfortable position for hours on end, it would be very pleasurable to be bent over a table or chair, or on my hands and knees before you for a lengthy amount of time (a half hour to an hour) to think about what I've done and to think about what is coming.
The spanking phase itself can vary as much as your imagination and my butt can handle. It can be swift and terrible, slowly building, or just lengthy and firm. Many implements are ok by me, and I'm a willing experimenter. I'll try anything once. If something causes too much pain, to where there is more pain than pleasure, I would have to rethink the use of that item in the future, but again this is where the initial phases can help.
The denouement is when the spanking ends but is still fresh. Typically I like to be cuddled and held during this time. Rubbing my ass gently or putting lotion on it would be something that I would enjoy and appreciate at these times.
Now on to the why: I think it's by now obvious that I get a sexual thrill from spanking. I don't typically orgasm during a spanking, but it is an extreme tension reliever that leaves my body full of the same type of endorphins present after an orgasm.
As to whether this is a roleplay or punishment thing, I'd have to say no. Generally, I don't like to be spanked for no reason, but for a real concrete purpose. While sometimes I do enjoy spanking just for the spanking's sake, I prefer for there to be all the elements in place at least some of the time. I haven't experimented much with roleplay in spanking, but this is because I've never been much of an actress. I'm a little wary of roleplay in spanking because I'm afraid that I'd start giggling and not be able to stop, or that I wouldn't be able to step out of character to be real. This is why I don't see roleplay as an important element for me.
Well, those are just a few of my thoughts on what spanking is to me. Enjoy.
10/11/2005 6:40 am
mmm...so I hear that you have been a very BAD girl...|
10/11/2005 3:13 pm
Thanks for all the information, we have wondered at times, what the draw to a spanking was, The Sex Goddess enjoys a little swatting during sex, right before an orgasm, it seems to bring a bigger and better orgasm for her. The Redneck|
10/11/2005 9:31 pm
Thanks for the interesting info, betabonnie.|
I never before realized how spanking was so complex a form of play as you've discussed. Your description is both intruiguing and... dare I say... very hot indeed.
Your fantasies too are excellent. More, please! And your travelling to within the reach of my strong arms wouldn't be a bad idea, either
Ah well, I can dream. Keep on blogging,