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Do's and Don'ts of a Good Spanking
Do's and Don'ts of a Good Spanking
I'm speaking here of a man spanking a woman scenario. Some of it will apply to other situations, but some won't. Use what you like and ignore what you don't.
Do: Warm up slowly. Especially if you're new to the spanking scene, don't try to jump in with all the bells, whistles, paddles, canes, whips, floggers, and various instruments found or purchased. Give your body time to get used to what it can handle. Communicating with your partner is vital here. A good place to start is just a simple over the knee hand spanking. It will give you an idea of what feels right for you and what level of pain brings the pleasure higher vs. simply causes pain.
Do: Try with clothes on and without clothes on. You might find you enjoy having your pants pulled down around your knees or ankles or your skirt hiked up revealing your ass, or you might not. If you're shy or body-conscious, you might want to communicate that to your partner and let him know that you need reassurance about it.
Do: Talk about your fantasies with your partner. Discuss what you'd like and what you wouldn't. Talk about your limits, and any physical or emotional difficulties you might struggle with in a spanking scenario. Obviously, if you have negative feelings attached to spanking from bad experiences, this might not be the best activity for you.
Do: Talk after a spanking about what worked, what didn't, what you'd like to do differently, and how the session went.
Don't: Spend so much time talking about a spanking that you never actually get to the spanking. There's an awkward time somewhere between getting to know a person and getting intimate with a person where it would be best to just dive in. It will always be awkward and a little strange at first. You might find yourself wondering if this is what you really want or even questioning the sanity of asking for a spanking outside of a sexual encounter. This is normal. It gets easier and you might, like me, find that you enjoy it so much that you crave it more than orgasms. (Odd... but hey.. this is a site for oddities, right?)
Don't: Worry about being permanently scarred or bruised. Provided your partner sticks to the buttocks area, you are not going to be permanently injured from a hand spanking over the knee. There is a lot more padding back there than we realize, and it would surprise you the amount of spanking it takes just to get a little redness to stay overnight, much less any bruising to occur. Heavy smokers tend to bruise easier, though, so if you're in that category, you might want to watch for it, or even better quit smoking altogether. It's bad for you. I once received a 1/2-hour long spanking with hand, belt, paddle and various other instruments and was only red and slightly tender for a day and a half. Trust me on this... if you stick to the buttocks, it's very difficult to go wrong.
Don't: Spank the backs of thighs, the lower or upper back, or elsewhere on the legs or feet unless you have an unusually high pain tolerance. Besides the fact that it hurts(!!!), in the inexperienced person's hands, this can cause actual injury. Be careful and go slowly when/if you decide to move away from the buttocks only for your spanking enjoyment.
Don't: Give it one try and then say, "Well, I didn't get anything out of this." It may take a while to find the style and rhythm that works for you and your partner. Explore, try, be brave, and above all else: communicate.
Last: I've said this many times already in this post, but I'll reiterate one last time in case you missed it. Communication is vital here. Your partner won't know what feels good to you and what doesn't unless you tell him. Don't expect things to improve magically... help him to build something with you. Talk. Share. Learn.
Thanks to the many readers who wrote in requesting further information about spanking. I hope this post gives you some good starting points. Enjoy.
10/12/2005 1:58 am
An excellent guide. Thank you