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I'm amazed at what I've learned here.
I'm amazed at what I've learned here.
I’ve had a bit of extra time on my hands of late ‒ and took the opportunity to snoop around this site a bit, see who and what’s being posted in the blogs, what new talent has arrived, and what has become of those few I have contacted.
And I must admit, it’s definitely a “melting pot” of personalities, desires and attitudes.
At first blush, the predominant theme from the Ladies is “I want someone to have sex with.” OK ‒ that’s kind of the premise of this site. But there the playing field ‒ and the players diverge significantly.
Some exist only as a “record” in the AdultFriendFinder database. Sometimes a pic, sometimes not, but usually with a come-on line of some sort. Never see them in chat, on IM or post a blog. Send ‘em a wink, add ‘em to your hotlist, perhaps drop them an e-mail……….and wait. Within a day or so, you see when reviewing your hotlist, that their profile has been deleted or is otherwise non-accessible. That’s fine ‒ perhaps they read my profile and determined that I wasn’t what they were looking for. Much easier to accept than face-to-face rejection ‒ but I still keep thinking about “missed opportunities” ----for both parties.
I now understand that some of these are out and out scams (an issue addressed in an earlier post ‒ and I still admire the entrepreneurial effort on their part. Still kicking myself for not figuring it out ahead of time ‒ or not thinking of it myself!.)
Then you have those who are members who you will find in chat or on IM. Sometimes you can engage them, others not. One does get a chance to look a bit deeper in those instances ‒ although I will agree that not everyone is, um, “completely above board” in these situations. Part of the landscape.
Those that choose to create a blog and post ‒ well there’s where you encounter a number of diverse roads. Here’s where I’ve gleaned a great deal of information ‒ data that I haven’t been able to acquire anywhere else on this site. (As just a lowly standard member ‒ I lack the ability to e-mail and converse directly).
Some blogs simply give you an insight to another’s life ‒ with no intent to “find somebody.” Has made for some interesting reading ‒ and confirms that the problems I face in my life could be worse.
Others represent the quintessential “flirt” we guys all lusted after in school ‒ but were never going to see the light of day with. Again ‒ this makes for quite interesting reading and if it floats their boat, I say Go for It.
Then you have those that aren’t quite sure why they are here or what they want. Do I respond to him? How long should I wait? Do I really wish to meet somebody from - perish the thought ‒ “Online? Do I want to get laid or not? Kinda humerous, kinda sad, but in the end, nobody can make those decision but the person themselves. AdultFriendFinder is perhaps not the best sex therapist available.
Some are just plain pissed at the world ‒ seeming to bait anyone who happens by to a verbal duel. I, for one, refuse to match wits with an un-armed person.
And finally we come to those who seem to benefit most from their presence here ‒ whatever their goals are. They seem to have embraced this form of electronic communication ‒ or techno-flirting ‒ to the nth degree ‒ and enjoy it. Power to them. Many have taken the leap to meet someone and discovered a very valuable answer: Whether the result was positive or negative, the answer is tremendously valuable ‒ and adds to the personal database immensely.
I arrived on this site mainly out of curiosity. Granted, the NSA sex was ‒ and still is - pretty high on my list. Been fairly successful finding those with whom to spend my time before my arrival. But it has been an eye-opening experience to be given a glimpse into the many, diverse people looking for something out there.
I have begun to modify my goals for participation in this site. Yes ‒ I’m still looking for that illusive NSA partner ‒ but I’m starting to realize the wealth of information I have gathered about people in general, both the kind I want to associate with and those I don’t. And that, perhaps might be more valuable in the long run than a quick “roll in the hay.” Not quite ready to move that into the number one spot, but sometime ago, it wasn’t even in the line-up. Ah, the things we learn………………when we listen.
Good Luck to all.
6/17/2006 4:35 am
It would seem that we have come to many of the same conclusions as you. I haven't even figured out how to IM on this thing yet, seems to move too fast will stick to the other one. I have noticed the ones that tease you into another site. I pay enough for this one and alt, thank you very much. I may use my real name but I had to set something up for the bride so she could remain kind of hidden since her job wouldn't appreciate her name all over the place. A little sensitive there but she has fun. I appreciate your replies on my blog. Not as good as MO or anybody but when you look how much they post I can see why. Well you take it easy my friend while I try an conquer putting down a carpet pad with furniture in the room. Bound to be a blast.
6/17/2006 11:37 am
Yep - it seems as though we have both "tread the same water" a time or two. And it appears we still are!! ( reference your "contact lens" post!)
As a standard member - who is supposed to be able to have limited access to e-mails - I still haven't figured it out yet. On occasion, I will click on a screen name - be taken to thier profile - and provided the opportunity to send an e-mail. But what the "triggering event" is that allows that access - Damned if I know!
So it still presents a challenge: "How does a Std Member make contact beyond the proverbial "wink."
I've had a little success with the IM thing here - by starting the Instant Mess from the homepage. It displays a list of those currently on IM - and it can be filtered - at least by sex. At that point, I can see sex, age and distance. Should I see someone with whom I'd like to make contact - the action is to "page them."
I have to appreciate the mechanics - I "page" someone - and they hve the option to decline or enter a private chat room with you. Win some - lose some. But at least its an avenue by which a fairly sane conversation may be had - and if things go well, contact information may be exchanged.
But it still boils down to whether or not they are in IM - and whether or not they wish to pursue a discussion. And a great deal of those I'd like to make contact with are never found on IM.
I cannot think fast enough to navigate the Chat Rooms! Too damned many people - too scattered conversations there. Guess I'm still stuck in the TRS 80 era!
Failing the ability to initiate an e-mail - IM and blogs are about the only way I can get a dialogue started. Now if this old fart is missing something - I'd be happy to take direction from anyone on this issue. (And we all know how men are reluctant to ask for directions!)
I agree about those who attempt to "entice" one to another pay-site. I don't appreciate the come-on, but I gotta appreciate their entrepreneurial attitude. Perhaps we should "re-invent" ourselves as 23 yo, busty, horny blonds and take a page from their book!!
Naw - it'd probably just exacerbate an already damning problem!
I enjoy visitng your blog - you've been able to put down into words many of my thoughts - and I get a kick out of em'! Keep em' comin'
Hope your carpet pad endeavor turned out successful. I'm off to hang cabinets and lay tile for my son.
Take Care - and Thanks! -B2