It's On Now!!!  

rm_ashpuff 33F
49 posts
6/13/2006 7:14 pm

Last Read:
10/23/2006 10:50 pm

It's On Now!!!

I have declared war on the birds in my neighborhood! I think they have a personal vendetta against me and my bright ass yellow car. The little fuckers are getting ruthless! My bestfriend can't leave her windows down or sunroof open or they will shit in her car! I washed my car Saturday and by Sunday my hood was polka dotted. And no it's not just little puddles of poop no those dirty little bastards have to 'explode' on my car apparantly leaving long streaks and rivers! I predict in no time at all you will see news footage of me going homicidal on the little shit birds!

STCMOguy4fun 36M

6/18/2006 2:33 am

Do it.. need help... I mean if anything... you wanna kill them not scare the crap out of them....(bad pun)

Well got a chance to sat Hi to you & a few other people at the party.
Hope you do well against the dive bombers.


Khakimon 44M
62 posts
10/23/2006 10:02 pm

If this is still a problem, just do what I did when a neurotic robin kept shitting a silid layer of white all over my car mirrors every night or two: Buy two of those glue traps from the pest control section of a hardware store. We're not talking about those wimpy little sheets of paper or tagboard with the thin adhesive film that's good for catching bugs or small mice, oh no; We're talking about the thick layer of adhesive poured into a shallow plastic pan, the kind that they use to trap rats. Then you go to Office Max and buy some paper clips...not the wire curly-cue kind, the alligator clips with the flipping thumb levers on each side designed for pinning entire stacks of paper together. Then you set the trap and snag yourself a bird or three!

1) Before retiring in the evening, place a glue trap (glue side up) on top of one exterior rearview mirror so that one edge matches the topmost edge of the mirror housing.
2) Pinch open one paper clip and slide it on so one "mandible" goes over the glue trap and the other "mandible" slips between the mirror glass and the mirror housing. Release so that the clip clamps down and pins the trap to the mirror; Apply multiple clips if one isn't enough to hold the glue trap in place.
3) Repeat for the other mirror.
4) Go to bed.
5) Wake up, come outside and check your traps. You may want to bring a small weapon, poison or other instrument of death in case it becomes necessary to mercy-kill a stuck bird; My brother and I used a garden adze to guillotine the stupid feathery bastard who kept scourging my car with shit blankets once we finally snagged him, thus bringing his fecal menace to a swift close. >:]

I hope this helps!

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