How to quickly lose a job  

rm_art_persists 51M
1120 posts
5/28/2006 9:36 am

Last Read:
9/24/2009 12:35 pm

How to quickly lose a job

I used to work at a home improvement warehouse, you know its name.... I was a good employee, always on time, knowledgable, hard-working and all the rest. I had just broken up with my girlfriend and I so hated that job. The pay wasn't enough nor were the hours. I was going into debt just working there.

I worked in rentals and whenever someone came in with a cash deposit, I was supposed to plug their vehicle license number into the computer. I didn't want to take the time to get a license plate number so I would just make up some numbers or letters and plug them in: I wasn't aware the license numbers showed on the contract because I thought this was something for internal record....

I was getting more and more into a funk and I came up with a really good license plate number... the personalized plate I would order if I could have any plate in the world: ASSFUK. It was perfect because I so love the feeling.

I added this plate number to six or seven contracts until someone, who obviously reads the fine print (a very rare, somewhat aware person) saw his plate number and became very, very offended. "What's this? What the Fuck?!? He's on to me! He knows I dream about doing it.... I'm not a fag even though I occasionally fantasize about Mike's ass. AM I????"

So... offended guy phones Home *****. Management goes into a frenzy. "Holy Fuck, This guy is pissed. If it's true, that Lawrence is going to pay. What type of MAN would write this?!? ASSFUK? Doesn't he know that that type of sex is for QUEERS? I'm disgusted...."

It was a rainy, miserable ride to work that day. I was feeling guilty because two days before, I had lied about not coming in to work. I showed up to find the rental shop open (which was my job to do). Strange.... I went to the cafeteria to double check that I was on shift... I wasn't on the schedule at all! I had been written off!!! So... I went to the manager's office to ask what was up.

I was expecting to be fired for lying about Friday's missed shift. "So be it", I thought....

Dave shuts the door and tells me the details about the contracts and I listen intently, being quite aware of the implications for this corporation which will never take a chance.... will never accept anything outside their norm.....

Dave's final question for me was "How could you do this? What was going through your mind???" I did not have to justify this question with an answer because I owed nothing to him... nothing to his employers nor to this fucking corporation..... I replied "Dave, I have a different sense of humor than you have..."

007sexy40plus 51F  
7603 posts
5/28/2006 10:54 am

OMG! You didn't do that did you?

I am the real deal! "Come Get Me!!!"

rm_art_persists 51M
1789 posts
5/28/2006 11:42 am

007: I sure did

southrnpeach333 50F

5/28/2006 8:39 pm

It was funny but probably not wise to use it more than once...but i guess you know that now, huh?

waerlookin4fun 50M/46F

5/28/2006 10:01 pm

omg you crack me up.........ASSFUK and you got caught doing it? don't tell anyone but I like it too

waerlookin4fun 50M/46F

5/28/2006 10:05 pm

you crack me up......ASSFUK as a license plate and you got caught? don't tell anyone, but I really like it too

dasher121 36M

5/29/2006 11:05 am

Holy shit, now THAT is a work story!!!!!! Ive done some funny and fucked up shit at work but you just took the cake my friend!!! hahaha thanks for the laugh, that was a great one!!!!!!


rm_art_persists 51M
1789 posts
5/29/2006 12:28 pm

Yummy: I wasn't sorry about it: I went to a job that paid twice as much with full-time hours

Southrn: I can never be accused of being wise

Waer: One day....

Dasher: Glad I can share some laughs

rm_art_persists 51M
1789 posts
5/30/2006 10:57 pm

Hot: it's taken me awhile to realize this....

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