like pebbles on a beach.  

rm_aqustic2 44M
1195 posts
6/18/2006 12:56 pm

Last Read:
6/22/2006 12:25 am

like pebbles on a beach.

i have always thought my destiny lay the far side of my life of honesty, i havent always being turthfull to myself and others i dreamed to much of things i may never have being able to have, unimportant stuff. i spent way to much time in my younger years thinking, which i now believe is bad for you, ok we are need to plan stuff out. but in my case i planed things that i was a million miles away from, kidding myself i`d get there one day but as i get older life seems to be passing me by faster and faster, i dont dwell on stuff but when i think of some of the mistakes i`ve made in life, some of the people i`ve hurt, people i`ve let slip throught my hands, real people, real friends. i made a deal with myself a few years back that i would never go down the road of if`s the but`s.but had it being done this way, if i`d went there. sure i`d only drive myself crazy. your thinking you cant go crazy twice.theres a line in a paul weller track "like pebbles on a beach kicked around displaced by feet" i think my life like most peoples has become displaced. i now try and keep it as simple as possable ok i have baggage, maybe more than some 34 year old men? maybe not half as much. i have a mate living in co. kerry who has a drink prob and 11 differant kids to 8 differant woman. i wonder will he ever be able to return to his home planet with that much baggage holding him down?but he dosent give a fuck, quite clearly excuse my french. i am a very open minded,easy going person nothing shocks me anymore but i see life zooming off in differant directions for some of my friends faster than they know what to do. a couple i know well very well both good,good friends who married young split up last month both were playing away from home but she got caught he went to australia he told me to get rich. she planed to go thailand to teach and get a life she told me but last week end she fell off a chair in a night club having had a anneurisn, he`s on his way home to look after makes me wonder. i lived in new york in the early 90`s with my girlfriend of 3 years at the time i had no visa and came home from work to find her crying one day, she was pregnant we were only 21 and the other side of the world from home, i have to say we were both scared after thinking about it for a short time we decided they best thing was for her to have a termanation, i did what i could for her over the next while, i really did love this women. we broke up 5 years later having rarely spoke about it again it drift`s in and out of my head every now and again, she now tells me 15 years on even tho she now has a great business in new york city, is married with wonderfull 2 kids of her own that it hunts her all the time. theres no way back now. theres an on going debate between my mates and family that they think i dont know about as to why i decided to move back to were i now live a lonely big old fram house in the sticks by myself, with only one arm working and a tumor in my head, but it`s ok for me to drive alone to england twice a month or germany every now and again sometimes putting 6000 miles behind me, it aint me who`s mad. i went out last night late and had a crazy time and returned to my own cave this morning at 8am not monkey drunk but having drunk like a lord. lord of my own displaced life.

SmallTightKitty 57F

6/18/2006 1:13 pm

We all have regrats it is part of growing up. If there are no regrats one either is not intouch with life and what is real or they really are people who don't have much of a soul.

rm_aqustic2 replies on 6/18/2006 1:33 pm:
i agree smalltightkitty,oh sounds nice, i must be the frist one as i sold my soul for an other bite of live some time back. thanks for stopping a bit with me.

rm_madred006 45M
438 posts
6/18/2006 1:49 pm

we all have regrets made mistakes and hurt people its part of life . but the important ting is bn able to recognise them and move on , and if that means more mistakes so b it , if u dont make mistakes u aint up to much ,dats my impression . v nice blog

rm_aqustic2 replies on 6/20/2006 12:01 pm:
yes madred i agree we`d be very boring folk if we never made mistakes.

Sulabula 45F
12658 posts
6/19/2006 4:49 am

It's part of life to make mistakes and learn from them...but...I think we shouldn't have's part of who we are

Sula xxx

come visit my blog

rm_aqustic2 replies on 6/20/2006 12:01 pm:
very ture sula.

rm_gata11459 57F
10597 posts
6/21/2006 5:05 pm

[COLOR blue]aqustic, we all have things that we look back upon in our lives that we look back upon and think of things we could have done better, smarter choices.. woulda coulda shoulda.. but those are just second guesses.. things could have turned out much worse had we made another choice, we'll never know.. we do what we are ment to do.. nothing more nothing less.. aqustic. you are lovely and special.. nothing needs redone with you xoox k

Peace xxx K

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