How do you handle depression  

rm_anewperson 59M
65 posts
8/19/2006 8:54 pm

Last Read:
8/28/2006 9:23 pm

How do you handle depression

Hey all I've got a question for you. How do you handle a spouse that is totally depressed with life and doesn't want help.

My wife has had depression for over 10 years now. Recently she has stopped taking her medication and gets upset over the littlest things. If I change the tone of my voice, I'm yelling at her. If I question her about something, I'm trying to control her. And to top things off, she makes up things I said to her. Her B-day was the other day and she was sick as a dog. She said it was probably her worst b-day ever. She had two cakes for her Birthday (one chocolate the other lemon). She threw them away the next day because she didn't want to be reminded of her birthday.

Well I ask her before I knew she threw them away, that I wanted a piece. Well that set her off in one of her depression moods. Several hours later she tells me she is upset because I said she can't get any more desserts from the bakeries. The closest I came to saying that was I guess I won't be getting any cake? How she turns that into not getting anymore desserts is beyond me.

When she gets really depressed she locks herself in the bedroom. I've tried reasoning with her, threatening to leave her and anything else I can think of. But nothing seems to work.

I'm concern about her and don't know what to do any more. I can't leave her because I'm afraid of what she will do. I have to start thinking about myself. She has her side of the family upset with her and don't want nothing to do with her.

So I need some help in what to do for her. I have Lou Gehrig's and at the point that I use a wheelchair to get around. I ddepend on her to help take care and get me things. Any comments will be appreciated. Also I can't get her to go see a doctor to have her prescription changed to something that would help her. She tells me I'm controlling her life.

ShyBBW2BSpoiled 49F
7 posts
8/19/2006 10:38 pm

I have been fighting depression for some time now and taking my meds is a problem for me, but that just goes with taking any meds...been that way my entire life. You need to think of yourself. Is there some where you can go that will help you out for you to stay there for a few weeks or a little longer? Perhaps you should very calmingly tell her, I love you, but I don't know how to help you. You say I'm running and/or ruining your life, so I am going to leave until you determine what it is you need and want. If you decide it is me, then I will return, but if you decide you don't want me, then we must go our separate ways. Let her know she needs to see a doctor and needs help and to take her meds and tell her you pray that she will seek help so you can both continue on in a healthy path. Make sure she knows you want to be with her, so please do what needs to be done so you can come back home. It will be hard! Perhaps the hardest things you've ever done....but until she is pushed into getting help, she won't. Things have to get really bad before they can get better. Sad, but true. Best of luck!

papyrina 50F
21133 posts
8/20/2006 3:04 am

hugs honey

I'm a

i'm here to stay

Greekgirl4u06 39F

8/20/2006 8:17 am

without a doubt she is depressed, benn there and it isnt pretty, meds are on thing, but she needs both counseling and meds, put your foot down and be firm with her telling her she needs to get help and now. obviously with your diagnosis is probably adding to it more, but remind her its not your fault that you ended up with LG......i wish you the best of luck hun.

RosieRue20 30F

8/24/2006 2:49 pm

I have delt with depression all my life and I am only 20 so I can understand how she feel's. But also I can see where that puts you in a hard spot. What I think I would do is talk to her doctor give him a call one day explain whats been going on and maybe he can call her and have her come in for a 'check up'. I am sure she has talked to doctors before, but that is somthing you want her to keep doing because they know the best about it. I hope that things work out for you. But always remember you are never alone. If you think that leaving her is the best for you then you have to think about you. I am sure you love her and hate to see her like this but if she loves you she needes to think about what this is doing too you. I hope it helps some.

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