feeelings, all my life are feelings:))  

rm_agorny 34M
2 posts
8/1/2005 7:58 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

feeelings, all my life are feelings:))

there are things that you don't think about until they hit you... or at least prefer not thinking about until you have to... usually these are banalities... however, you have to agree that banalities is what make our life interesting.. full, if you want. without the small things life would be too fuckin boring, too oranised and predictable and then, what is the difference between us and the stupid compputer that I am using at the moment, trying to express myself to people that I don't care of, as I never met them and probably never will? well, one of teh things that was bothering me most of the time since I have "grown up", since I stepped into consciencious life, let us say - around 13-15 years, was the uncertainty... ucnertainty of what the fuck is expecting you tomorrow, what is going on with this small world and what would happen to you in 10 years?
I prefer not thinkign about it, btu sometimes it is necessary, soemtimes you just cannot avoid this... Hate it, but still... you just catch yourself thinking about it every now and then.. You may have plans which, most probably will come true if hold on to them and follow the "light at the end of the tonnel", but... something can always go wrong...
and when you fuck up, may it be your fault, or not, you feel another stupid and useless feeling - regret... it's very much like masturbation, if you allow the forced metaphor... no use at all. you just like torturing yourself with thoughts and dreams of "what could it have been like"...
Its impossible to completely get rid of regrets... although workin on it... i dont think i will ever regret something that was my choice, but... when someting interferes with your curageous and grandious plans, it's impossible not to feel a bite...
well, it's just one of those days...
naah. Im not at all pessimisitc, as I said, it's just one of those days...
why in the fuck can't we just enjoy what we have and kill ourselves over something too high to reach? why do we have to complicate our own lives? why am I not living in the 60's, be a hippie and not give a damn thing about anything?.. change the world by smoking weed... bring freedom, tolerance and all that shit by being simply absent at whatever is happening around... not have anything and want even less... have all you want but nothing you need...

at the moment I am reconsidering.. should I post this? ...
I think so... once I wrote it...


Become a member to create a blog