Honesty? Don't be casting the first stone.  

rm_agoigo 65
39 posts
9/15/2005 6:31 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Honesty? Don't be casting the first stone.

Someone was complaining about the lack of honesty in men. I think when we expect more from others than we do from ourselves, we run into trouble.

As a woman, have you ever rejected an advance? I think most guys start out honest. Being as sensitive as we are, we get hurt easily and quickly. Same for women. We all have trust issues and yet we are all still looking for the right one. I think that even 'pussy hunters', in the back of their minds, are looking for something lasting. They probably have the biggest trust issues. I think we all fantasize about having a purely sexual relationship. Is stating that you are seeking a purely sexual relationship honest? Or is it self-deception?

As for me, I think I would really like to have a purely sexual relationship with someone, but I can't help getting emotionally involved. What we think and what we feel are two different things. So saying I only wanted sex would be both true and not true, honest and not honest, both.

So the alternative is saying you're looking for a relationship. If someone says they are looking for a relationship, it doesn't mean that it's going to work out with you. It might, it might not. Have you ever felt positively about someone, then less so? If you have a positive hopeful outlook, then that answer is going to be yes, just about every time. Being positive doesn't mean they're being dishonest. Most people put their best foot forward at the beginning. This 'better you' may get a positive reaction, but the 'truer you' later on, even less so. If you're getting a lot of positive feedback up until you have sex, then rejection, it may not be because they were in it only for sex. It doesn't mean you're bad in bed either. It probably means that they were willing to postpone until the sexual compatability test. It's part of the basic balancing of pluses and minuses: hair, minus; manners, plus; breath, plus; humor, minus; sex, ?; intimacy, ? The sex may even be fantastic, but they may give up on you because of some other revelation that comes about because the sex thresold has been breached.

Even if you make it through the sex and intimacy stages and you both get emotionally involved, it doesn't mean that that person is right for you. Even loving someone, as opposed to being in love with someone, doesn't mean that they are right for you. Life, it's a long difficult process and accepting the lows and highs makes it easier.

cuddlylover1 52M

9/25/2005 7:56 pm

very interesting.... I am going through finding out what love is I know it is not a feeling but it is action and commitment.... and a person can have feelings for someone and it may not be right I am going through that for sure right now and will probably get back with my girlfriend.... I hope it is for the best otherwise I have to end it.

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